Here's Everything I Always Meant to Say
by KittehV
Summary: Kylie and Eli are best friends but what happens when things at Kylie's home start to go crazy and get messy. Will Eli dump his girlfriend Jen or will he continue to be with his girlfriend and attempt to balance his time between them.  summary sucks
1. Chapter 1

I straightened my hair as I listened to my parents scream back and forth, arguing yet again about something pointless I was sure. Looking in the mirror I couldn't help be despise what I saw. I wasn't the prettiest girl. I had shortish red hair that came down to my mid neck. And I usually straightened it and flared the ends out. My blue eyes watered slightly as they screamed. It wasn't that they did this all the time. This was one of those blow out fights.

Two weeks of avoiding each other, of getting upset over the littlest thing the other says and giving the other the silent treatment for days on end and then it explodes and everything's fine the next day or two and the cycle starts all over again. It was a cycle that was starting to wear on me. My arms showed the effects, cuts and scars and little sharpie scribbled lyrics to cover the healing cuts. The worst part was that every fight got louder, more violent and I was scared. Scared that my father was going to fly off the hinges and hit my mother or well even me.

I closed my eyes blinking back the tears as I heard my name in the argument and then something crashing downstairs. I couldn't deal with this. I couldn't listen any more. I hurried and put my eyeliner on my face and grabbed my purse. Slipping my cell phone and my razor into my purse before climbing out my window. I didn't care if they figured out I was gone. Nothing like that mattered right now. I just needed to get out.

I had no idea where I was going…I didn't even care where I was going any more. Walking lost down the road in the dark. Nothing mattered to me anymore not school, not my life I barely had any friends at school much less any one that would rescue me from my home life. I had ones that worried but they had their own things. I walked towards the school knowing I'd have to wake up and go to school in the morning any way.

I lay down on the bench in front of the school and pulled my hoodie closer to my body and let my eyes close desperately trying to ignore my life. Not even being numb was enough anymore. I knew they'd blame me for the fight when I got home the next day and it wasn't something I could do any more. None of this was livable any further. My name is Kylie and welcome to my life.

In the morning I was woken by the feeling of some one's hand against my face. I jumped slightly before relaxing realizing it was my friend. The one person I could count on but I didn't tell him half of went on at my house. I didn't need his pity. I just needed him here. I slowly opened my eyes and came face to face with his worried hazel eyes.

He was bent down so his face was level with mine. His Soft hand resting on my face a few rings on both hands and a watch on one wrist and a wrist band on the other. A dark leather jacket covered his arms and a black t-shirt under it with his matching black pants. His necklace dancing from his neck and his hair looking like he just rolled out of bed and came to school (which we all know is probably exactly what happened).

"Kylie…"His voice was soft and full of concern as he gently removed his hand away from my face. I groaned slightly as I put both my hands under me and pushed myself into a sitting position on the bench my first instinct was to rub my eyes but I remembered that I had eyeliner on from last night. I knew that I looked like crap compared to him.

I was wearing dark blue skinny jeans a light blue v-neck t-shirt with my pink and blue checkered vest over it and buttoned and then I wore my purple zebra stripped hoodie over it and I had made sure that I'd warn wrist warmer and long fingerless gloves that came to my elbow just in case I got to warm in my hoodie.

"Morning Eli." I glanced toward my hazel eyed friend who had now moved so he was sitting on the bench with me looking at me the concern was still on his face but it wasn't as intense as it had been when he was first waking me up.

"What the hell were you doing sleeping on the school bench Kylie?" He slid his fingers through his hair before facing me. I shrugged my shoulders standing up as the bell started to ring signaling it was time for class.

"Nothing?" I looked back at him and he just shook his head standing up slowly before slinging his arm over my shoulder and sighing gently.

"If you needed some place to say you know you can always come crash at my house Ky, Don't sleep on the bench outside of the school." He was sincerely worried about me and it was almost kind of startling I hadn't heard the compassion in any ones voice in a while so to hear it in his made my heart swell a little.

"Thanks Eli, But you know last time I came over I interrupted you and you're little girlfriends fun time remember?" my nosed scrunched and I shook my head trying not to think about that night a few weeks ago where my parents had been screaming and I just needed a place to sleep before school the next day.

_It was about midnight. I had school the next day and the constant screaming in the next room wouldn't allow me any form of sleep. I let out a soft sigh knowing that there was one place I could go to get away from the noise and just sleep until I needed to wake up the next day. I packed my back pack with clothes for the next day at school and climbed out of my window not caring if my parents noticed I was missing from my bed room._

_ I walked the ten minutes it took to get to his house from mine. I tightened the back pack strap as I noticed that his bed room light was on. His parents had told me many times its fine no matter when I need to come over I can. I had a key to his house. I pulled the key from my backpack and slid it into the lock pushing the door open I could hear two people talking towards Eli's room. Slowly I began to make my way back._

_ "Eli?" I called softly as I reached his cracked bed room door. I could tell that his parents weren't home because he always kept it shut when they were home. I pushed the door open without thinking and glanced toward the bed. Eli was laying there his shirt off his arms around his girlfriend's waist. Her shirt was on the other side of the floor thank god for me her bra was still on. They were having a pretty heavy make out session._

_ "Oh Eli," His girlfriend moaned gently from his lap. I could feel my stomach leap into my throat and it almost felt like my heart was being broken. I didn't understand it. He's my best friend why should I care if he sleeps with his girlfriend? But for some reason I was more than grossed out by what I just saw I was hurt. I quickly whipped around and slammed his door shut and darting towards the door._

_ "What the?" I heard Eli shout slightly from behind the closed door as I stopped at the door to catch my breathing not thinking he would come out and investigate where the noise had come from._

"Yeah well you won't have to worry about me having her over for any late night sessions for the next two weeks?" I raised an eyebrow as we reached my locker opening it and putting my purse into the locker and removing my backpack.

"Why's that? You two on a break or something for the next two weeks?" I asked as I slung my back pack over my shoulder slyly transferred my razor from my purse to my backpack without Eli seeing.

"No this week she's grounded and then next week she's going out of town to visit her parents." He slid over a few lockers to get his things out of his locker. I couldn't help but smile maybe one of these nights I could go over and just relax at his house we could have a movie night like we used to. I shut my locker and glanced over to his going to ask him if he would be able to schedule it with me when His girlfriend walked up and wrapped her arms around his waist.

Now don't get me wrong. The girl was a complete and total sweet heart for the most part, and it was hard to find a reason for me to dislike her but after the last time they fought and she used his friendship with me to threaten him I had decided that was enough reason for me to hate her. I sighed slamming my locker shut and getting both their attention.

"Oh look who decided to show up today…Where are the rest of your clothes?" I snapped looking towards Jennifer who was wearing probably the shortest shorts I'd ever seen. It was rather disgusting I was surprised Eli was with her to be honest.

"Eli, what did the principal tell you about bringing pets to school?" She smirked as she looked at me as if it was supposed to insult me I just looked to Eli to protect me and he did.

"Jen that's not funny and she are right where the hell are the rest of your clothes?" He snapped at his girlfriend who just looked at him surprised he'd defended his best friend of 6 years.

"I didn't have anything clean so I figured since you can't see me for a while and I know we are going on winter break soon I figured that I'd dress all nice for you today and maybe we can skip class?" Her voice nauseated me. She wanted to wheel him away to the janitor's closet and have sex with him and he was going to do it too.

"Whatever. I'll just tell our English teacher you're still sick Eli. Go have fun with your little whore." I snapped turning away from the couple as I heard Eli let out a heavy sigh.

"Ky! Wait!" He shouted I stopped half way down the hall way and stood still but refused to turn around and face him.

"Oh come on Eli! We won't see each other for like the next two weeks and you're going to blow me off to go to class!" Jennifer shouted. I rolled my eyes and went to take another step forward before I felt Eli's hand on my wrist causing me to flinch.

"I'm coming to class with you." He smiled gently not noticing the grimace on my face from where he was holding my arm. I let out a small laugh and nodded.

"Good because I have a feeling Mrs. Ridenour is going to pair us up for an English project and if you weren't their I'd end up all by myself." I smiled gently as I looked toward my best friend. Eli smiled in return and slung his arm back over my shoulder as we made our way to English class.


	2. Chapter 2

"So Do you mind if I come over tonight so that we can work on the project?" I asked gently as I looked towards my best friend as we headed out to his car. I had a feeling he'd be driving me home. I smiled gently as he looked like he was thinking.

"Yeah, But You need to know that Jens coming over to work on a government project as well…" he stopped at his car and looked towards me searching my face to make sure it was going to be ok. I just sighed biting my lip.

"That's fine. I'll just start our English project by myself. We can work on it some other time…When she doesn't need your attention." I mumbled as I opened the passenger door and slid into his black SUV. I pulled my back pack onto my lap and hugged it against my chest.

"Kylie, are you sure? I mean I can reschedule with her...She probably won't even want to work on the project any way?" He questioned as he slid in and slipped the keys in the ignition. I let out a soft sigh and shook my head.

"No, just take me home ok?" I leaned my head against the window hugging the back pack closer to my chest I didn't want to deal with whatever there was going to be when I got home. Eli looked at me for a moment before nodding.

"You know if you need anything to call me ok? And if I don't hear from you over break these next two weeks, don't think I won't come over there and kidnap you." He laughed as we pulled up to my house. You could hear the shouting in his car from inside. I swallowed before shaking my head.

"Don't worry we have to have a movie date sometime over break."I smiled gently Climbing out of the care before he even got it stopped hoping maybe it would run me over. He looked at me concerned and shocked.

"Please be careful Kylie." He spoke softly as he heard something smash against the wall in the house.

"Yeah…I will." I mumbled climbing out of the car and walking around to the door slowly I opened the door it felt like I was stepping into a war zone. My mother was cowering in the corner before she threw something towards my father and my father's was in the other corner screaming and throwing things back.

I let out a sigh; I had to step between them to get to my room unless I wanted to climb the wall to get in through my window. I closed my eyes and darted through the living room and up the stairs as fast as I could to up to my room not want to deal with either of them right now. I ended up dodging a vase as it passed through the living room.

"I hate this." I muttered to myself feeling the tears on my face as I threw my back pack to the side Looking at the photo of me and Eli from a year or two ago at a school dance. I was wearing a pink dress and I looked like a princess my hair done up a crown on my head and him wearing a tux a thin line of eye liner on his eyes as he held me close for the picture.

It'd been two days and I hadn't left my room I was spending my whole time working on my project. I needed to go down and face them and let them know I was going to Eli's to Work on the project but I was afraid of what to do. My parents weren't screaming any more to much they'd taken to just throwing things at each other to shut each other up.

I slowly made my way down the stairs hugging the paper and my back pack close to my body. I was wearing jeans and a pink tank top with my purple zebra stripped hoodie on me all the way zipped up and my home made version of arm warmers which was wrapping my arm in that cool colored skin tape that they used at the hospital this way no one could take it off her arms unless she removed it off herself.

"Mom? Dad? I'm going over to Eli's to work on our project… "I shouted as I slowly made my way into the living room. I let out a soft breath when I realized my mom was the only one home right now. "I'll be back later tonight mom." I announced not waiting for her to answer as I walked out of the front door as I noticed my father climbing out of his car.

"Kylie where do you think you're going." The anger in his voice was evident not only that but she could smell the booze on his breath from across the yard. He started toward me and the first thing I could even think to do was take off.

"Away! Mom knows!" I shouted as I took off running as fast I could towards Eli's house I could hear my father chasing me but I rounded the corner and pulled my key out of my pocket and shoved it in Eli's door and shoved the door open closing it quickly and quietly heavily breathing. I leaned against the door drawing in a deep breath looking towards the ceiling and closing my eyes trying not to cry.

"Uhum ELI! Your little freak friend is here!" Her voice, probably one of the last voices I wanted to hear right now. She was only a few feet away from me and I was ready to jump and punch her square in the nose! He said he was going to be free from her tonight!

"Jen, what the hell are you screaming about?"I wanted to open my eyes and look at him and let him know I was fine and I would just leave but I heard my father scream as he ran down the street still hunting for me before screaming that he gave up and ran back towards the house. My heart was slamming against my chest and tears were burning at the sides of my eyes.

"That…Why does she have a key to your house Eli?" Jen's nasally voice was crawling under my already agitated skin.

"Shut up for a moment will you?" I heard Eli his before I felt a gentle hand press against my cheek. "Hey you're ok, you're in here, He can't get to you in here," Eli began to talk to me quietly trying to calm me down.

"Uh excuse me but I and you are kind of on a date! You're just going to let her come in and ruin it. Well that's fucking great Eli." Her voice was causing my brain to feel violently about her at the moment. I tensed my fists as I pressed myself against the door.

"Jen! I said shut up!" Eli scolded his girlfriend "Go get the damn drinks you came out for and I'll be there in a fucking second!" He hissed and I could hear her footsteps retreating. "Kylie, come on now it's ok," Eli's voice was soothing and I could feel my tension slowly slipping out of my body.

"I...I can't go home tonight Eli, I'm sorry I interrupted your date but I can't go home." I began to mumble repeatedly that I just couldn't go home. I couldn't go back with my dad right now I would get hurt.

"Shh, Kylie Shh" Eli smiled gently moving his hand slowly off my face. "You are fine I don't care if you interrupted Jen and I ok?" He set his hand on my arm and smiled. "I'm just working on our History project and she's taking it as a date ok? It's not she has to go home soon any way." He soothed as he moved me off the door and locked it.

"Thank you Eli" I spoke softly and looked toward Jen who had just come back in the room "Maybe I can help you guys with your project…I brought our English project over to work on" I smiled trying to at least get Jen to be friendly.

"Great." Jen rolled her eyes as she took Eli's hand and pulled him towards his room. I drew in a small breath before clutching my back pack against my chest following them. Though I was beginning to regret following them into the bed room. As soon as they sat down on the bed their lips were attached. Yeah they were working on a history project. I sighed.

"I'm going to go get some water..."I was quiet as I set my bag down after slipping my razor into my pocket. I walked out of the bed room wandering down the halls of his house touching the walls as I made my way to the bathroom sitting down.

I slowly began to undo the bandages on my arm and look at the healing scars and recent cuts covered with sharpie scribbles of words like worthless. I looked at the razor in my fingers slowly I pressed it down against my skin making a shallow cut but it was deep enough to allow the blood to slowly run down my arm over the black sharpie on my arm. I could feel the tears start to fall down my face.

I let out a slow deep breath as I leaned against the tub placing the razor back in its little case and back into my pocket as I watched my arm bleed slowly standing up to put my arm in the sink to wash the cut knowing it would sting but that was even better. I felt my eyes close as I turned on the scolding hot water sliding my cut arm under the burning water.

A door slammed from somewhere else in the house and I felt my whole body jump I quickly rubbed the hot water into the cut before quickly wrapping my arm back up with the tap and pulling my hoodie back over my hands. I looked at the blood in the sink and grabbed some toilet paper and threw it in the toilet flushing it down before standing up and opening the bathroom door slamming into Eli.

"Hey, I was just coming to make sure you're ok, you've been in there for awhile." He added his eyebrow rose as he glanced at my flushed face. "You look like you've been crying…"

"I'm fine Eli, I just…I'm really tired can we lie down?" I asked softly as we headed towards his room. He nodded he never objected to cuddling with his best friend and going to sleep.

"Of course Ky." He spoke, I could tell just by the tone in his voice that he wanted to ask a million questions but he kept them to himself for now. He wasn't always going to be able to do that.

"Uhum, I don't know if this is even ok for me to ask any more but is it ok if you hold me?" I asked quietly looking toward Eli, I hadn't spent the night since he'd started to date Jen and I wasn't sure if the rules had changed.

"I don't think one night could hurt." He smiled gently as we reached his bed. "Why don't you change into pajamas?" He suggested handing me a pair of his boxers. I nodded slowly before starting to unbutton my jeans.

"Thank you." I mumbled gently as I pushed my jeans of and pulled on his boxers before crawling into his bed. I laid my head down on his chest and his arms slowly went around my waist rubbing my back through my hoodie.

"I don't know what's going on but I want you to know that no matter what happens no matter what time it is I'm here." He whispered pressing his lips to the top of my head holding me close. I could feel the tears start to drip down my face.

"You're too good to me." I managed to choke out before letting my eyes start to fall shut tears still seeping out from the corner of my eyes. Right before I drifted to sleep I could have sworn I heard him say 'I love you' but I was probably just dreaming.


	3. Chapter 3

The next few days had gone by so quickly I didn't even have time to deal with any of it. After the night at Eli's I'd woken up to find him going through my bag which made me glad my razor was in my pocket but when he noticed I was awake he quickly threw the bag aside and didn't ask any questions. I couldn't help but wonder what was going through his head but I didn't want to deal with questioning so I didn't ask.

I'd returned home that same day and that's where things started to really just collapse from under me. I'd apparently gotten a little to close and I got hit with a flying vase that my mom had thrown towards my father. It had busted the bottom of my jaw and my lip I had a pretty large cut going from the right corner of my lip to my jaw line.

Which the cut on my face right there and the tenderness from where the vase had broken made it much harder to eat then the fighting outside my door on a constant basis Eli had called a few times and we'd had some conversations but nothing much he was spending a lot of time with Jen lately even though she was supposed to be grounded.

It'd been about three days since I'd been hit with the vase and my face was starting to heal a little. It was black and blue and brown and all sorts of fun colors around the cut and it hurt to talk or really open my mouth. I was scared that if I'd gone to Eli's his parents would think mine beat me, which they might beat each other I was an exception they hadn't meant to injure me.

"Baby girl. Why don't you come join me for dinner?" My mother asked as she poked her head into my room. I rolled over on my bed to face her wining as my face brushed against the pillow. I nodded slowly standing up and walking towards her. She gently took my face in her hands tears coming to her eyes.

"It's ok momma." I reassured her. Part of me knew she acted the way she did because she was just as scared as I was and she was naive and she was just a teenage girl at heart not having any idea what to do about life right now. I couldn't be mad at her for this.

"It looks so bad." Her voice was strained as she touched it causing me to back away from her. "Come on Baby. I and your Daddy made an amazing dinner for you." She smiled gently her eyes mirrored the tired and pained expression that I was wearing.

"I can't eat too much." I warned before following her down the stairs slowly I sat down at the table a spot I hadn't gotten a chance to sit at in a while since they started fighting. The food smelled amazing maybe it was because I hadn't had real food since they started fighting.

"Oh my god Tina! Look what you did to her face." My father's heavy voice boomed through the kitchen and I was ready to bolt but his rough hand on my face was stopping me.

"Stop it Patrick! You're hurting her!" My mom shouted from the other side of the room. I let out a soft whimper as his grip tightened on my face.

"I'm not hurting her!" he growled back holding onto my face as they continued to fight I could almost feel him breaking the healing scab over it right now.

"Yes you are" I whimpered tears already starting to fall.

"Did I ask you?" He screamed suddenly enraged and before my mom could turn around and stop him his hand came down across my face harder then I'd ever been hit in my life. I think he punched me in the side of the face but I couldn't tell the difference all I knew is that I was in so much pain I couldn't see straight.

"PATRICK!" She screamed and the fight began I had fallen off my chair the hit had been so powerful. Tears were spilling down my face at this point I couldn't even see straight right now. Slowly I crawled out of the kitchen unable to really get myself to a standing position. I managed to get out of the room before they saw me I made my way up the stairs before grabbing my cell phone and praying to god that he would answer.

"Eli Please answer." I cried softly into my phone. AS I stood and began to throw things in my bag knowing I was going to have to leave for a little bit days, weeks, I wasn't sure right now I just needed to get out.

"Hello?" I heard a tired female voice that was a stab in the heart right now.

"Jen Please I need to talk to Eli. Please!" I shouted into the phone my face throbbing. I was sobbing and I was trying to sound as pathetic as I could.

"Fine. ELI! You're little friends on the phone and she sounds upset!" I hear her scream before I heard someone shout and take the phone.

"Kylie?" He rushed he seemed out of breath and I didn't care that I was interrupting him and her probably having another make out or fuck session that wasn't what she cared about right now.

"Yes, Please Eli, Please come get me. I'm sorry I'm interrupting you guys but I need you…I need you now more than ever please Eli, If you want me to live past tonight you'll come get me." I continued to ramble as I held the phone to the right side of my face because my left was throbbing too much from the pain of being punched in the face.

"Kylie, Calm down please, Tell me what happened." He ushered and I could hear him getting in his car and starting it. It wasn't going to take long for him to get here and I knew that. I just continued to babble on about needing him and wanting to commit suicide and being in so much pain.

"I need you, I'm so sorry, I just need you." I rambled as I pressed my face into my pillow letting out a scream of pain and frustration even though it just caused me more pain. I heard his car stop and a door slam outside.

"I'm coming to get you Ky. You're going to be ok I promise." He spoke gently into the phone as I heard the front door opening and slamming. Then footsteps on the stairs and I could hear my parents screaming at Eli trying to figure out what was going on.

"No I'm not." I cried as I hung up the phone rolling over on my bed scared what Eli would say when he saw my face. I faced away from the door as I heard Eli enter the door and put a secure lock on the door as he entered.

"Kylie, Look at me, What happened?" He asked as He slid down onto my bed his hand finding my leg as he rubbed whatever he could touch at the moment.

"Please Just take me to your house Eli Please." I begged as I slowly turned around to face him so he could see the full effect of my face.

"Oh my god." His voice was something I'd never heard before but his reaction wasn't what I was expecting. He pulled me into his arms holding me tightly against him for a few moments before he even made a move to do anything else.

"please Eli, I need to get out." I was sobbing against his shirt and I needed to ice my face and sobbing my eyes out on his shirt wasn't going to help my swelling face.

"We're going. We're going honey you just hold on ok?" He murmured lightly as he picked me up into his arms. "Damn your light" he muttered under his breath as he took the lock off my door and carried me down the stairs.

"Where the hell are you taking my daughter?" I glanced over as My father came storming towards Eli and I. I pressed my face into Eli's chest knowing that he wasn't going to let anything happen to me.

"I'm taking her away from you, Both of you, Where she can't get hurt any further." He was confident as he spoke and he was ready to hurt anyone that got in his way of taking care of me. "Now If you'd like to get in my way, give me five seconds to put you're bleeding daughter in my car And I will gladly call the police."

"Fine." My father backed away quickly as Eli carried me out of the house and gently set me in the passenger side seat.

"you're going to be ok Kylie, I promise, I'm going to take you back to my house and I'm going to get you some pain killers and We're going to make sure you don't need stitches for your chin, Were going to take care of you." He reassured me as he looked at me I could see the pain and frustration in his eyes and It brought even more tears to my eyes.

"I'm sorry." I sobbed as He closed the door running to the passenger Side door. He looked at me and smiled sadly. His eyes were slightly watering as he took off towards his house.

"Mom, Do me a favor get Jen out of the house Tell her to go home. I'm coming back with Kylie and you and dad were right about…what you thought." He added softly into the phone. I could hear his mother's voice over the phone but I couldn't make out what was being said. To be honest I didn't even want to think at the moment. I felt so many things.

I was hurt, betrayed, empty, confused, all I wanted right now was to be wrapped up in some one's arm and rocked back and forth and told it was going to be ok but Nothing's going to be ok not after this. It wasn't possible for anything to be ok after this. The pain the emotional pain from this wasn't going to help anything heal.

"Come on sweetheart." He cooed gently as he pulled me out of the passenger seat and headed towards his house. His mother opened the door the shocked look on her face said more than just being shocked. She was hurting because I was at least that's what I could read from her eyes.

"good God." She whispered before shaking her head ushering her son and I into the house. This was the worst pain I'd ever felt not just from the burning pain on my face but from the betrayal I felt.

"She's staying mom, I don't care what anyone says she needs to stay for awhile I can't let her go home." Eli spoke to his mother as he laid me on the couch in the living room running to get ice from the freezer. He came back a few minutes later setting a small bag of ice on the cut on my face and then setting another ice pack against my already bruising eye.

"I don't want to be trouble" I could feel the tears starting to form on my face again and the pain starting to die down as He sat down pulling my feet into his lap and rubbing my ankles lightly.

"Shush, You know better than that kylie, you know I'm here no matter what and I am going to keep you safe, Jen goes out of town tomorrow so She'll be over to say good bye but I'm all yours until the end of break." He smiled gently. I let my eyes fall shut as he rubbed my ankles.

"Eli, You're father and I are going to be heading out on a trip tomorrow as well are you two going to be ok here?" His mom asked gently. I could feel Eli's body move as he responded but my eyes were now closed and I was exhausted and I just needed to be able to close my eyes and get some quality sleep.

"Its fine mom, everything is going to be ok, her dad doesn't know where we live she's safe here." He spoke softly and their voices continued to grow more distant as I fell deeper into sleep. The next thing I remember was being picked up and moved to a surface much more comfortable and a pillow being tucked under my head.

I woke up to a females shouting about something or another. I sat up slowly looking at the clock seeing that it was Noon I figured out that the voice was Jen, Eli said she was leaving today. I smiled gently before climbing out of the bed. I realized that Eli had changed me at some point in the night into a pair of his boxers and he'd taken my hoodie off and slipped one of his shirts onto me but he hadn't touched the bandages on my arms.

"Eli! She's staying here? She's in your clothes!" Jen shouted. I looked down at the boxers I was in and let out a small laugh. "You don't even let me wear your clothes Eli!"

"She's my best friend! She needs this right now! I've known her for the past six years! If you don't trust me than that's your problem!" He shouted back. I'd never heard him raise his voice in the whole time I'd known him. Not even when he was dealing with my father the other night.

"Eli! I do trust you! Do you not see the way she looks at you! She loves you! I don't trust her! How can I trust some one that looks at you like I do?" She screamed. I couldn't help but wince at the sound of their screaming. I was the source of another argument.

"Will you shut up? Even if she does what does it matter to you? Hmm? You really think that if something happens with her while you're gone that it wasn't going to happen with you here?" His voice had gone back to being low and that was probably the most shocking thing I'd ever heard him say.

"What are you trying to tell me Eli?" Jen's voice was wavering slightly but not in a 'I'm going to cry' It was a "I'm so pissed I could set fire to something'

"I'm trying to tell you, that I've had enough of you treating her like shit. If I do something with her, it's because I want to. I'm not going to promise that nothing's going to happen, wanna know why? Because this is it. I and you were over. I don't want to have to answer to you where I've been and who I'm with! She is my best friend! I'll do whatever she needs!" He glared "And I'm a faithful person but I'm sick of you and your god damn rules." He snapped. My heart felt like it was going to bust out of my chest.

"Are you trying to tell me that if she says sleeping with her will make her feel better you would do it?" Jen's voice was quiet now.

"Yeah, I would." Eli's answer nearly caused me to pass out. He was willing to sleep with me! What the hell! That's kind of awesome though.

"How about we just take a break for this week...While I'm gone you can do whatever you want and when I come back we'll talk about where our relationship stands?" Jen's voice was desperate she was hanging on to every thin little string she still had attached to him.

"Fine, But don't blow up my phone this week. This is her wee understood? And if you come back and I don't want to be with you, you have to walk away peacefully and Promise to leave her the hell alone." They were making a promise about me! I had to still be dreaming I slowly un did one of my bandages and checked my arms they were scared and healing still meaning I was very much awake.

"Good Bye Eli, Have fun with her." I heard her voice and then I heard a door slam. I looked confused for a moment before settling myself back onto the bed at least pretending to be asleep that way he wouldn't know that I had been listening to him argue with Jen. This way nothing would be weird between us. Now that I knew that both of us had feelings for each other even if neither of us had come out and said it.


	4. Chapter 4

I'd been saying at his house for about a week now and We had to go back to school soon as in the next day or two we'd be going back to school and I wasn't ready for that. I still had bruises healing on my face. My chin injury was starting to heal much better than it had been before. Though I'd gotten a bit skinny because I'd only been drinking protein shakes because my jaw has been hurting so bad. My eye looked a lot worse then it felt lately.

The last few days Eli and I had the house to ourselves and though it was just the two of us cuddled on his bed and talking and looking at the TV and doing all the things that we could think of nothing physical had happened. Sure we'd had the weird interactions where our hands or faces would be much too close to each other but neither one of us really did anything.

Right now I was laying on his chest as we watched Eclipse for the third time over break. Neither one of us was really paying attention and he looked really distracted like his mind was throbbing with thoughts. Slowly I rolled over so I was now laying between his legs my head and arms by his chest and my head was tilted up to watch him. He didn't even notice that I'd rolled over.

His head was tilted back and he was looking at the ceiling. His hazel eyes were full of concern and confusion and his heart was beating faster then I'd ever heard it beat before. His jaw was clenched and the little vain in his neck was poking out a little bit telling me that he was stressed. The pursed lips were another sign.

"Eli, What are you thinking about?" My voice was quiet because I didn't want to startle him out of his thoughts I just needed to know what was wrong. Slowly he brought his vision back down to make eye contact with me. His eyes when he looked at me showed something different a small sparkle some kind of happiness.

"Nothing, Why do you ask?" He asked softly and I could feel his hand gently brush against my cheek right below the bruise on my eye knowing he was just trying to avoid causing me pain. He looked like there was something he was keeping from me.

"Eli, Don't lie I can read it on your face, Something's wrong." I forced a small pout onto my face as I moved my body a little closer to his. My face only centimeters away from his, He seemed to be a little breathless the closer I got.

"Kylie, I've just got a lot on my mind and I'm not going to lie it has a little bit to do with you and those bruises on your face." He was quiet as he reached his hand up gently setting it right under the bruise near my eye. I let out a soft sigh my mind racing of thoughts the closer I got to his face the more my mind clouded.

"Don't, There's nothing to think about. I got hurt. It won't happen again. I'll go home after Break and I'll be just fine and you can go back to Jen." I whispered my face nearing his even more and I could feel my breathing pick up as my heart slammed against my chest.

"What if I don't want to go back to her Kylie?" His question caught me off guard but it was the best response I could have expected to receive after mentioning his girlfriend. I felt him shift under me so he was sitting slightly his face nearing mine even more. I could feel my eye lids start to droop as our faces continued to near.

"Why wouldn't you go back to her Eli?" my voice was barely audible. I could feel the sexual tension between us building and I felt like I was going to explode if I didn't kiss him. I heard him open his mouth slightly as if he was going to answer but instead of speaking his soft lips met mine. I felt like all the breath was knocked out of my lungs as our lips met.

His lips moved slowly against mine. Both of our mouths seemed to be shaking and both our bodies seemed desperate to find the air that we'd both lost at the beginning of the kiss. My shaking hands and racing heart had no guide. My hands managed to find his neck pulling him even closer to my needy mouth. His hand remained on my cheek as he held the kiss. His other hand finding my waist was he pulled me closer to his chest.

Neither of us could even seem to pull away from each other to breath no matter how badly our brains wanted the oxygen. I could feel his heart slamming against his chest meeting my slamming heart beating against my chest. Now I'd never been kissed like this. I'd been kissed on the cheek but this kiss? I'd never been kissed with such love, such passion behind it. Our bodies started to sink into the bed frantically trying to get closer to each other and keep the kiss lasting.

The kiss was only semi broken to get oxygen from their nose but it didn't last for long just long enough to make our brains quite screaming for the air. My hands moved from his neck and into his hair and I couldn't kiss him hard enough or with enough passion and I had no idea what kind point I was trying to make with this kiss and it wasn't help full to my busted lip but nothing seemed to matter right now. I felt no pain, no physical or emotional pain, Just pure bliss.

We'd both been so caught up in each other's arms that neither of us had heard the door open. Or the clearing of the throat of the parents standing in the door way. It was only when one of them let out a laugh that we finally heard them. We reluctantly pulled away from each other unsure if we really wanted to move but we knew we had to address his parents standing in the door way watching us.

"What do we have here?" I heard his mom laugh as she stood in the door way. The sting was starting to come back to my lip and I could feel that it w as bleeding a little bit but I didn't even care. That had been the most amazing experience I'd ever had. I climbed off him letting my fingers linger on his lips as I got off him.

"I'm going to go get dressed…" I sounded much more breathless that I thought I would after that. I managed to stand and my legs wobbled under me and my whole body felt like it was tingling. I let out a small laugh before stumbling my way to the bathroom with my clothes in hand I made sure I was quiet enough to hear what they were talking about.

"Well, That was quiet the show." I could hear the amusement in his mother's voice as she spoke to her son. "I thought you were with Jen though? I mean I prefer Kylie over Jen any day but I don't condone cheating you know that Eli."

"Mom, Jen and I decided to take a break while she was out of town and to figure out if it really was each other that we wanted" Eli's voice was strained and breathless, I could hear him searching for breath as I was.

"Oh? Over the last week have you got that figured out?" She didn't take it to seriously and it irritated me a little but I knew it was just because I was in the bathroom trying to change while the two of them spoke about him choosing between Jen or me.

"I, I don't know mom. That kiss you just saw? The first kiss we've shared all week, that's the only physical contact we've had…But mom, that…was…amazing." I couldn't help but let out a giggle as I finally pulled my shirt over my head making sure that the bandages were still hiding any cuts that were healing on my arms. Eli still hadn't caught on to the fact that I cut.

"Eli, I think that you and Kylie belong together but I've told you that a million times and you never listen." She let out a sigh. "I can't even help you with this because I don't know how, I will tell you that, what I just saw between you to is the realest thing I think I've ever seen. It's all there Eli but it's all up to you." I opened the door as she patted her son's knee and glanced over at me.

"Thank you CC for letting me stay this week, it's been the best thing that I could have asked for." I let out a small smile as I looked to his mother. His mom just smiled and walked over wrapping her arms around me gently before whispering.

"Don't you worry honey, there's no competition, Team Kylie and Eli all the way." She smiled as she walked out of the room and I couldn't help but laugh and feel a little better about myself knowing that his parents were rooting for me in this situation

"Mom!" He scolded before sighing heavily as she quickly ran away from the door. I giggled gently before looking at Eli an eye brow raised.

"It's ok Eli." I spoke softly as I moved over to sit next to him on the bed sighing gently; I could see the worry on his face. "Look the kiss that just happened…" I trailed off looking at him.

"I don't know Ky…" his hazel eyes were so worried that I was going to get upset and start crying or flounce out of the room.

"If you want it to be nothing then nothing happened Eli, I'm not going to run out of the room crying." I made an attempt to reassure him as I patted his knee lightly kissing his cheek standing up as I started to dig through my back pack.

"I don't know if I want it to be nothing. I'm really confused right now Kylie." He sounded so lost and confused and hurting and I wasn't sure how I needed to react. I just smiled gently and touched his face.

"Eli, I'm not going anywhere…Well I have to go home before my parents call the police on you and your family for kidnapping me." I laughed though we both knew that that this situation was a lot more serious then I was making it out to be. I had to go home and tomorrow I'd have to face school with the bruise on my face and I was scared to death but I didn't need him to worry right now.

"Are you sure you can't just stay one more night just tonight I'll take you home tomorrow after school? I mean tomorrows going to be hard enough as it is…" I looked at him though instantly regretted it when his bottom lip poked out and his eyes became big and innocent and he was giving me the infamous Eli pout.

"Eli! Don't look at me like that!" I whined as I covered my eyes refusing to look at my best friend who I heard letting out a heavy sigh followed by a whimper. "Ok fine! You win. I'll stay tonight but I have to go home tomorrow!" I sighed as I opened my eyes spotting his grinning face.

"Yay! I win!" He jumped up off his bed before walking over to me and pulling me away from my back pack. His hands lingered in mine for a few moments before he moved them back to his sides. Leaving an awkward tension in the air.

"Eli, if this is what it's going to be like now that we've kissed maybe I should just go home?" I didn't want to leave but I couldn't handle things between me and him being weird. I needed him to be the one thing in my life right now that made sense.

"I'm just worried about your feelings Ky…" He started and I covered his mouth before he could continue rolling my eyes.

"Stop. Eli, The kiss was something we both needed to do and it would happen eventually I'm not asking you to stop being my friend and start being my boyfriend I'm asking you to stay the same that you've always been. Please?" I slowly pulled my hand away from his mouth so he could response but he just looked at me speechless for a moment.

"Ok you win, I'll stop acting freaky." He smiled before patting my shoulder. "Now come on lets go bug my parents for dinner and then afterwards we can work on the English presentation we have for school tomorrow sound good?" I nodded as he yanked on my arm and out of his bed room. There was no denying it after that kiss I was in love with my best friend.


	5. Chapter 5

After school Eli decided he should probably help me into my house just in case he needed to remind my dad what was the rules as to having me still being in the house. He'd kill someone if I ended up hurt like I had before and I knew Eli was no laughing matter when he was pissed. He would take my dad down if he had too. I smiled gently it was eerily quiet as we headed up towards the steps I looked toward Eli worried.

I noticed that my father's car was missing from the drive way. I looked at Eli for a moment before opening the front door noticing that it was dead silent. Nothing was going on nothing was making a sound. That's when I spotted a blood stained foot print on the carpet my heart began to slam against my chest as I looked to my best friend standing in the door way.

"MOM!" I screamed as I ran into the kitchen more blood but my mom was nowhere in sight. I ran back up to Eli before taking off up the stairs where I found bloody footprints leading away from my mother's bed room door. I ran towards them even though Eli was shouting after me that it wasn't a good idea and I needed to stop while I was ahead.

"Kylie! Let's call the police! You don't need to see whatever's in there! You don't know what you'll find." He called desperately trying to follow and stop me before I threw my mother's door open. Throwing it open I ran inside there was blood everywhere more blood then I ever had seen before. I walked over to the bed.

"Mom?" I cried quietly as I reached the bed. I let out a blood curdling scream when I realized my mother WAS that mess of a body and blood on the bed. She'd been killed obviously by what I couldn't tell she was so mutilated I couldn't do anything but stand there and look at the mess on the bed tears pouring down my face my whole body shaking. I was going to pass out or collapse.

"Kylie!" Eli shouted as he entered the room shielding himself from the vision of the horrid body of my mother lying on the bed dead. He grabbed my arms firmly and dragged me out of the room he'd already called the police

"She's…Dead…" I was frozen my whole body was still shaking and I felt like I was going to throw up I was crying so hard. I wasn't sure what to think or what to feel at the moment all I could feel was numb. Eli's arms were firmly wrapped around my waist to hold me up making sure that I didn't faint as we waited for the cops.

"It's going to be ok KY…I'm here. It's alright." He reassured me or well at least he was trying. It didn't take long for the police to show up and want to talk to me but I couldn't even get a word out. Every time I opened my mouth to speak the only thing that came out was 'she's dead'

"Do you know the last time she was seen alive?" The police officer was trying desperately to try and get answers out of me and all I could do was stare at him like a deer in the head lights as tears poured down my face. "Do you know where your father is?" That got a response out of me finally

"He killed her." I slowly turned my head to look towards the officer. He seemed shocked that I finally said something besides what I had been repeating since he'd gotten here. He also wore a look of concern.

"How do you know he killed her?" He asked softly trying to make eye contact with me but I refused to look him in the eye I couldn't look any one in the eye and I couldn't see anything but my dead mother.

"He killed her, she's dead." I repeated and he let out a soft sigh before looking to Eli as if he was going to have any of the answers. Eli answered the questions he could, his arms still firmly around me keeping me close to his body as he explain what he could to the officers.

"I think I need to get her back to my house though officer, I'm afraid if we keep her standing much longer she's going to pass out…" Eli's gripped tightened around me as I could feel my knees wobble from under me.

"Alright son. Just tell me your address and you two can leave I'll need to speak to both of you again…" Eli proceeded to tell the man his address before picking me up bridal style and walking back to his car setting me in the passenger side and climbing in the other side himself starting it and pulling out of my drive way.

"She's dead…" I mumbled again looking down at my hands. I continued to repeat she's dead I couldn't say anything else. I didn't know what else to say my mother was dead and my father had done it and somehow I blamed myself for it.

"Kylie, baby girl, snap out of it please." I was caught off guard by the fact that he'd just called me baby girl and it kind of knocked me out of the shock I was in but only a little bit. I turned to look at him.

"I should have been home protecting her." He looked relieved that I'd said something other than 'she's dead' then he looked dismayed at what I'd said.

"He would have killed you too..." he said softly as he pulled up to his house walking around to the passenger side and pulling me out bridal style.

"maybe if he killed me he wouldn't have wanted to kill my mom…People needed her and loved her…no one needs or loves me…" my fingers tangled themselves into Eli's shirt.

"That's not True kylie…" He was quiet as we entered his house and he set me on the couch looking at me desperately. "I love you and I need you…" I tilted my head up to face him tears still pouring down my face.

"It's my fault." I managed to choke out as I slowly released my grip on his shirt and curled up into the smallest ball possible my hands tangled in my own shirt as Eli stood up to go find his mother and talk to her.

"Just holler if you need me ok?" His voice was cautious as he put a lock on the front door so I couldn't get out if I had tried but right now I didn't want to. As soon as he'd walked out of sight I'd bawled up my fists into my hair pulling at the fiery red strands attached to my pounding scalp.

I couldn't uncurl my fingers from my head. Even though it was pounding and my whole body was shaking. I was angry with myself, angry that I hadn't gone home sooner, that I hadn't been home when my mother needed me to protect her. What kind of a person was I? Just one that walked off and let someone else dies for my mistakes. I pulled harder at my hair tears streaming down my face my head throbbing.

"Kylie!" Eli and his mom came sprinting into the room. Eli was the first person to reach me he fell to his knees in front of me his hands finding their way to my arms rubbing what he could through the fabric of my hoodie.

"Stop pulling your hair sweetie, you're going to make your head hurt worse." Eli's mom was trying desperately to sooth me. She slowly moved Eli out of the way and set her hands on top of mine which were still embedded in my hair.

"Mom go get her some aspirin for her head. I'll keep talking to her." Eli urged. His mother slowly looked at him for a moment and I could barely see them because my hair had fallen over my face but I could see through the cracks in my hair.

"Ok, just don't pull on her arms Eli; you'll pull her hair out." His mom warned before walking out of the room. I closed my eyes my heart feeling like it was going to beat out of my chest. I felt like I was burning up and I couldn't breathe but I didn't want to move. I couldn't make sense of anything; I was trembling and breathing erratically.

"Kylie, it's ok. Here take my hand, you know it will feel better if you hold that even if you squeeze." I looked at him my vision blurry from all the tears and my head throbbing so hard I thought it was going to explode. Slowly I released my grip on my hair and reached out to him. He smiled gently and took my hands in his rubbing the back of them.

"I can't breathe." I panted as I squeezed his hands feeling like I was burning up from the inside out. Eli's eyes suddenly grew very alert and concerned more so than they had been before. I could feel the sweat slowly dripping down the back of my neck. He pulled one of his hands from me and set it on my forehead for a moment.

"You need to get out of this hoodie." I shook my head and tried to pull my arms back but I wouldn't let him take it off. I couldn't he'd see my cuts but all the pain in me right now was making it difficult to fight back. "MOM!" he shouted and his mother came running into the room. "Help me get the hoodie off her. She's going to pass out or go into shock if we don't cool her down."

"Kylie," CC looked at me the soft most caring expression on her face. She set her hands on my cheeks and rubbed the burning skin lightly. "Whatever it is that's under there we won't deal with what it is ok? We need to get it off you." I glanced up at her and then down at Eli for a moment before kind of sitting up to allow them to pull off my hoodie.

"Please, don't….Don't yell." Was all I could really muster as they pulled the hoodie from my arms and then undid the bandages on my arms. I could hear small gasps come from each of them but neither one said anything about what they were looking at.

"Oh baby girl." CC had always treated me like I was another child to her and I could hear the heart break in her voice as she examined the injuries on my arms. "Eli!" She smacked his shoulder to draw his attention away from my arm. "Come on, go get a pair of boxers and a tank top and meet me in my room ok?" Eli stood up slowly and took off running.

"Don't….leave me?" I whimpered as she picked me up into her arms and carried me to her bed room. She set me gently on her bed and turned a fan on facing it towards me as she brushed my hair away from my face.

"Don't worry; we aren't going to leave your side." CC kissed my forehead and continued to run her fingers through my hair until Eli came tripping back into the room running his fingers through his hair for a moment before setting the clothes on the end of the bed.

"Kylie, Ky…" he seemed to be struggling with something to say to his broken friend laying in front of him right now. But instead of saying something or just grabbing my hand he lowered his face to mine and I felt his soft lips press against mine in a gentle kiss even though his mom was watching.


	6. Chapter 6

That kiss had been enough to snap me out of the trance I'd been in, just enough so that I could change my close and I hadn't hyperventilated. Though that had been the worst pain I'd ever felt, having his lips touch mine was the best feeling I'd ever have. So the two conflicting feelings snapped me out of the 'it's my fault she's dead' long enough to get myself dressed in something else and curled up in Eli's bed.

It'd been almost a week since I'd found my mom dead and I hadn't really moved much from Eli's bed. I ate a little bit whenever CC brought me some food that she'd made for dinner. She didn't expect much from me. I hadn't gone back to school yet either and it took a few days to convince Eli that I would be alright on my own in his room.

The cuts they'd seen on my wrists still hadn't been addressed and I was waiting for one of them to freak out about it still but it was becoming less likely every day. I wasn't allowed to do much by myself though, Eli didn't want to leave my side at all, he even made me leave the door cracked when I went to the bathroom and then checked my arms after I came out. He cared and that was all that really mattered to me right now.

I rolled over on his bed staring at the wall for a moment letting out a heavy sigh as I heard a car pull up in the drive way. I glanced to the clock by his bed and smiled It was 2:10 which meant that Eli was home. I had to admit I missed him while he was at school even though we still weren't an official couple; he was pretty much my life line right now.

"Come on, She might be asleep just be quiet and don't bother her and you can come in and play video games." I heard Eli's voice as he pushed his bed room door open. I leaned over the bed side and pulled his hoodie on to my body and zipped it up not wanting whoever else was here to see the cuts on my arms.

"Holly and Spinner are getting on my nerves though about seeing her Eli, You can't keep her hoarded in your room forever and not let Holly see her. I'm afraid she might try and kill you if you don't let her see her soon." I heard Adam's voice now. I couldn't help but smile slightly at the mention of Holly. She was a good friend she'd flown in with her fiancée for the next few months for some kind of business thing.

"Eh. I'll let them see her when I want to Adam you know that." Eli pushed his bed room door all the way open and glanced to the bed where I was sitting up my hair probably was standing up all over the place and I knew I had bags under my eyes because I wasn't sleeping to well. I wore Eli's tank top under his hoodie, and a pair of his pajama pants on.

"Hi guys." I mumbled gently feeling a small blush creep onto my face at the fact that they were both staring at me. I moved so that I could set my feet down on his carpeted floor. Eli walked over and set his hands on my waist gently.

"Hey, I wasn't expecting you to be up yet." He spoke softly as he reached his hand up and set it against my chin tilting my face up to look at him. His eyes held the compassion and love that I had never seen him look at Jen with and I had to admit it made my heart flutter.

"Yeah well, I woke up because I smell your mother cooking something and I heard Adam." I looked over to where Adam was standing awkwardly at the door a crooked grin on his face. I smiled slightly. "Plus, I think it's time I get out of your bed." I added that last part in softly so that only Eli would hear me.

"Well, Adam's here to play some video games with me, Mom is in the kitchen cooking…well I'm not sure what it is why don't you investigate it?" He teased gently touching my cheek again as his hands slowly left my body and he turned to face his best friend.

"I think I just might…" I smiled gently. I walked towards the door looking at Adam oddly as he stood in the door just kind of staring at me. "Adam…is there a reason you're staring at me?" Adam seemed to choke on his words as he looked at me a small blush forming on his cheeks.

"Uh...no, no I'm sorry." He stepped aside kind of tripping over his own feet. I shook my head after a moment and moved out into the hallway following my nose and the warm scent of hot coco and cookies.

"CC what is that I smell?" I sang as I walked into the kitchen. She glanced up from the hot pan she'd just set down on the counter with a small laugh falling from her lips.

"Cookies and hot coco for you guys. It's pretty cold today and I thought you might like something to eat that's a little sweet." She smiled gently as she looked at me cautiously glancing from me to my arms.

"Thanks'" I smiled gently as I snuck past her and grabbed one of the hot, fresh out of the oven, chocolate chip cookies. CC let out a laugh as I ran out of the kitchen trying to stuff the hot cookie into my mouth as I ran back to Eli's bed room.

"Dude why the hell were you staring at her?" The voice was Eli's but Adam didn't have time to answer as I came dancing into the room the cookie a mess in my hands and now on my lips. I'm not going to lie that cookie burned my mouth but it was worth it.

"Hot! The cookie is hot!" I squeaked as I danced into the room looking towards the boys. They both turned to me; Adam wore a confused expression while Eli's was amused. "It's not funny! I burned my mouth!" I pouted throwing my arms across my chest and pouting towards Eli who was desperately trying to suppress a giggle.

"Aw! You are wearing cookie all over your face though." Adam hadn't noticed the look he was now receiving from Eli who seemed to be struggling even more with giggling now.

"I am aware! But I wanted the damn cookie!" I threw my arms up glaring at the two boys now. Adam let out a small laugh before mumbling something I couldn't hear under his breath. Eli rolled his eyes before standing up and walking over to me.

"And what exactly would you like me to do about your mouth burning?" He continued to move towards me. Adam stood up as well playing along with Eli.

"Yes, dear Kylie what would you like us to do about your mouth hmm?" He teased. AS soon as he'd stood up Eli's eyes had gone from playful and light hearted to something I couldn't quite read. I looked to Adam whose eyes were still playful and light hearted but held a little bit of something else in them as well.

"I'm going to go get more cookies?" I touched Eli's lips for a moment with my index finger and his eyes returned to playful. He let out a laugh as I took off back out the door and started down the hallway both boys chasing me into the kitchen.

"What are you doing!" CC laughed as We all three toppled into the kitchen kind of collapsing onto each other. I looked at her innocently from the bottom of the three of us. Eli had landed on the upper part of my body gently enough that he didn't crush me and Adam had landed on my lower half both boys blushing rather hardly at the position we were in.

"I wanted more cookies because the first one burnt my mouth!" I explained wiggling my legs from under Adam. That feeling of being trapped started to creep up into my chest. "Ok off now. Both of you!" I growled as soon as I'd made any noise Eli jumped off pulling Adam with him. "Ok now would someone like to help me off the floor?" Two hands were immediately thrown towards me.

"Well look at that." His mom teased as she watched me grab both the hands held out to me and I was helped off the floor. "Alright all of you head back to your room I'll be there in just a second with the cookies and coco ok?" She urged and I couldn't help but jump up and grab a cookie sticking it in my mouth before she could stop me.

"You are a cookie monster Kylie." Adam laughed as he slung his arm over my shoulders and started to lead me back to Eli's room. I was confused by his behavior towards me I mean I'd spent time with Eli and Adam before, well not a whole lot of time because Adam was good friends with Jen and Well I still didn't like her.

"Yeah, Eli's told me that a few times…" I trailed off as we reached Eli's room I peeled Adam's arm off me looking to Eli with the most confused expression on my face. I didn't get why Adam was all the sudden trying to be buddy, buddy with me. Then it clicked, the whole school must have heard about my mom's murder and he probably pitied me and was acting like this because he felt bad. I let out a sigh.

"Alright Eli! Get over here I get to kick your ass in these games!" Adam flopped himself down in front of the TV in Eli's room. Eli was still looking at me even though I had sat back down on his bed pulling out a note book. "Eli!" He called again. Eli snapped to attention and sat down slowly next to his best friend.

I sprawled myself across the bed as I listened to them play video games just like I expected to male best friends to do. I let my eyes close for a few moments just listening to the sounds of the boys playing even though they weren't quiet per say it was nice just to listen to some one enjoying themselves. CC had brought in the cookies while my eyes were closed and I really didn't feel like opening my eyes just to climb out of Eli's nice warm bed and get cookies.

"Hey Ky here cookie for you, I know you're not completely asleep yet." Eli's voice met my ears as I grunted and pushed his hand away.

"I'm tired Eli." I mumbled. "Just save me some please?" I opened my eyes and looked at him slightly through sleepy eyes. He smiled gently and set his hand on my cheek for a moment rubbing it back and forth for a moment before nodding.

"Alright love get some sleep ok?" He smiled gently pressing a kiss to my cheek before climbing of the bed to play with Adam. "I'll wake you up when Mom has dinner ready ok or in an hour or something, so you don't end up awake all night ok?" He ran his fingers through my hair before standing up off the bed.

I smiled well at least I think I smiled. I nestled my face in to his comforter as the sounds of the boys started to feel more and more distant as I fell asleep on his bed. It was nice knowing that he was right there but it was going to be hard when I had to go home…I couldn't stay here forever I wouldn't want to cramp Eli's dating life or even bother his parents but I couldn't imagine going home. But for now I just needed to focus on sleeping.


	7. Chapter 7

_Sitting up I glanced around it was dark much too dark. I must have slept longer then I intended. Why hadn't Eli woke me up? Then I realized something I wasn't in Eli's room any more I didn't really know where I was. The room was to dark and the bed I had been I no longer felt like a bed. It was stiff and freezing. I could hear voices not too far away from me but I had no idea where they were coming from._

_ "Eli?" I called as my feet hit the cold floor…That was odd last time I remembered I'd been wearing socks and now I was bare foot. I shuffled across the floor feeling along the wall for some kind of door or window or even a light switch but I couldn't find any. I started banging against what I assumed to be the Wall. "Eli!" I screamed now desperately searching for him._

_ "You're little boyfriend isn't here my dear." I whipped around seeing my father's face illuminated in the darkness. He was holding something in his hand but I couldn't make out what it was and I could hear whimpering near him and I wasn't sure what was going on all I knew is that I needed to find Eli and figure out how the hell I'd gotten here. _

_ "Get away from me! I know you killed mom! I'm not going to let you get away with it!" I shouted at the illuminated face getting closer and closer to me by the second. I backed up until my back hit the wall confusion and fear ripping through me as his face got closer to me._

_ "I did kill her and if you'd been home you could have stopped it how does that feel? You could have stopped the murder." I closed my eyes and kicked and hit at the illuminated face that seemed to be speaking to me though it didn't seem to be doing me any kind of good to thrash around and scream at this head that maybe wasn't even real._

_ "You could have stopped him baby girl, why didn't you help me?" My mom's voice was in the room where in it I couldn't tell. I couldn't feel anything anymore my whole body felt like it was floating on thin air. I wasn't sure how to grasp anything to keep my feet on the ground._

_ "I did! I didn't want to die! Eli…he wants me alive mom!" I shouted into the empty room. "I love him! You guys hurt me!" I screamed I could feel the tears' beginning to pour down my cheeks nothing was making any sense to me._

_ "You choose this stupid boy over your own mother...pathetic." My mother's voice was haunting as I felt like it was a gun pointed to my head. The words it was so true, instead of going home like I should have I stayed with Eli where I knew I was safe not thinking about her. I could feel my body beginning to shake and suddenly I was back in Eli's room._

_ "You ok?" I was panting as I tried to figure out what had just happened. Had I been hallucinating…dreaming? I wasn't sure all I knew is I was glad that it was over. Though I would have been more relieved if it had been Eli sitting on the bed next to me instead of Adam._

_ "I'm fine Adam can you please go get Eli?" I asked slowly glancing up from my shaking hands. Adam didn't move to get off the bed. He moved closer to me causing me to back away even further. "Adam please I need Eli…" My breathing was starting to pick up again._

_ "You don't need him, I'm right here, whatever it is you can tell me…" My brows furrowed together as I noticed the dangerous look in his eyes. I began to shake my head repeatedly as I continued to back away from Adam. _

_ "Adam please, not now I need Eli!" I shouted hoping that maybe someone else would hear and come and save me and stop whatever it was that was about to happen. Adam looked around the room before smiling at me. _

_ "Eli's not going to save you. Why would he do that? I sent him out to get something for you and his mom went with him. I have you all to myself." His voice was a cross between demonic and my fathers and I screamed grabbing the nearest thing to me and throwing it towards Adam._

_ "ELI!"I screamed as I continued to throw whatever I could find in Eli's room towards Adam who was still advancing at me, his eyes red and full of anger and lust. "Leave me alone Adam!" I screamed my voice was shaking my body was shaking. I felt like his hands were suddenly at my throat._

_ "You have nowhere to go, No one to save you now," His face neared mine and I reached up slamming my fist into his nose. Suddenly blood began to pour out of his nose and then slowly began to leak down his face from his eyes and his mouth. I continued to scream as I watched Adam's face slowly become distorted into my mothers _

_ "No!" I screamed as I grabbed the still bleeding face in my own hands "No! Mom! Don't go!" I screamed towards her shaking my whole body along with hers desperate to see her face even if I had caused the blood to gush from her slowly dying body._

_ "You could have helped me baby girl but you didn't…Worthless daughter." She coughed up blood as she gasped out one final breath before falling back into the black abyss that seemed to form by my feet._

_ "NO! I'M NOT WORTHLESS! NO MOM COME BACK! I'M SORRY!" I screamed tears streaming down my face as I attempted to throw myself down the abyss with her but my body wouldn't allow me something was holding on to me. _

_ "Kylie you can't go! I need you, I love you! No one blames you! Kylie!" Eli's voice was distant but his hands were firm on my arms_

_ "NO! Eli! Let me go! Eli!" I screamed pulling at the restraints on my arms before I felt another hand on my arm. _

_ "Eli, if she wants to go you can't hold her back..."It was CC "She means a lot to us but we can't keep her here if she doesn't want to be here." Her voice was the strangest sound I'd heard throughout this whole dream. It was up in my face and louder than any other voice. Though as soon as she spoke the abyss opened up under my feet._

_ "No! I don't want to go! I just want to make things right!" I cried shaking my head as I reached for Eli's arms now wanting him to hold onto me and not let me slip and fall to my death or everlasting fall whatever it might be._

_ "I have Jen to fall back on…goodbye Kylie..." He whispered as he let go of my hands and I began to scream as I felt the wind being knocked out of me._

_ "ELI! ELI! NO ELI!" I couldn't feel anything as my body continued to fall and I felt like the whole world was beginning to crumble from under me._

"Kylie!" The voice was in my ear and loud enough to cause me to shoot up out of the bed. Sweat dripping down the back of my neck. My breathing erratic as I looked towards the voice that had woken me. It was Adam he was sitting there looking scared of me.

"Eli? I need Eli!" I panicked as I began to strip the hoodie off my arms trying to calm myself down and make sure that I was awake as I let the hoodie drop to the floor. Adam's jaw dropped as he saw the cuts on my arms. I bit down on my lip as I ran my nails over some of the fresh cuts drawing blood.

"ELI!" Adam screamed as he ran out of the room. I started to calm down as I watched some fresh blood run from the healing cuts on my arms. I was awake, finally I was awake and I was in Eli's room on his bed, then a part of me realized I'd probably just scared Adam for life.

"Adam! Calm down!" Eli groaned as the two of them appeared in the door way. Adam was frantically talking his whole body moving as he spoke pointing towards me on the bed and nearly screaming because he wasn't sure what he'd just seen.

"But she cut her self dude! She was screaming and thrashing then she just woke up and scratched her arm till it bled!" He panicked. Eli's eyes scanned the room before meeting mine. He smiled gently towards me ignoring the blood running down my arm.

"Okay Adam. Relax ok? Just go get me some bandages from the kitchen alright?" Eli unlike his friend was calm. Eli made his way over to the bed and sat next to me reaching out and taking my hands into his rubbing the back of my hands.

"It…the nightmare...came back..." I whimpered as I looked towards Eli I could feel the tears start to make their way down my cheeks. "Only this time…You let go of me…You let me fall…" I felt a small sob rip from my chest as I looked at him. He crawled closer wrapping his arms gently around me and pulling me into his lap rocking me in his arms.

"Oh Kylie, sweetheart, I would never let you go, No matter what." He kissed the top of my head as we moved back and forth on the bed. I pressed my face against his chest trying to regain my sanity as my fingers laced into his shirt fabric.

"You had Jen…you didn't need me." I cried softly. I could feel his muscles tightened at the name Jen before they slowly relaxed and went back to rocking me in his arms.

"Never. I would never pick her over you. Never again." He murmured gently kissing my temple as Adam finally re-entered the room with bandages.


	8. Chapter 8

Poor Adam after that night refused to come back over to Eli's house unless I was awake and my arms were covered. I sighed softly at the thought of it I hadn't meant to terrify Adam in any way. It was just when I wasn't lying with Eli by my side I had nightmares and though I knew most of them were nightmares sometimes I needed to see myself bleed in order to know I'm awake.

"What do you think about trying to go to school today?" CC asked as she walked into my room. It was about an hour and a half before school started and Eli was already up and getting ready reluctantly not by my side and I'd woken up as soon as he had moved away from me.

"Are you sure that's a good idea?" I looked towards her I'm sure the fear was written all over my face. Dealing with the mean popular kids and other kids pretending to care about me after finding out my situation of being motherless.

"Just…try it ok? I talk to Simpson yesterday he said you can go to class with Eli, all of Eli's classes and just get your homework and stuff today because the funeral for your mom is next Tuesday and this would at least get you this week's homework ok?" She encouraged and I just glared at my hands the idea of school was enough to make me vomit.

"Yeah well, I'm not sure you could promise that Eli's going to stay by my side but I guess I have to leave the house sometime right?" I asked climbing out of the bed. CC smiled gently patting my shoulder.

"Of course. To be honest I'm pretty sure he's going to stay attached to your hip today. He's pretty nervous about you coming back too." She kissed my forehead before dancing out of the room. I sighed after a moment trudging over to my back pack and pulling out some clothes .

"You coming to school today?" Eli asked as he emerged from the bathroom his hair done, a thin line of eyeliner under his eyes, a black and white striped shirt under a black vest and black jeans. He looked good but then again….when didn't he look good?

"Uh…yeah your mom thinks it might be a good idea for me to just gather my home work since mom's funeral is next Tuesday so I probably won't be in school to much next week." I stuttered slightly before shaking my head and standing up hugging my clothes against my chest.

"I'm glad you're coming. I promise I won't leave your side." He smiled gently as he kissed my forehead as I headed into the bathroom. I closed the bathroom door slowly before changing into dark black skin tight jeans and a long sleeved black shirt with a white vest over it all three buttons done. I straightened my hair and let if fall where ever it pleased before slowly glancing in the mirror.

I didn't look so hot. My body was thinner than it used to be. My skin was pale and I almost looked like death warmed over. There were bags under my eyes and my eyes were even slightly swollen from crying, my face flushed from all of the emotions. My blue eyes were hazy with fear and hurt still and my lips were cracked parts of it bleeding from where I had taken to biting them.

"Come on Ky we gotta get to school!" Eli shouted from outside the bathroom door. I let out another heavy sigh before slowly walking towards the door opening it and looking at him. I'd smudged some black eyeliner on my eyes and at least put some of an effort into making myself now look too dead.

"Let's go…but Eli" He turned to look towards me. His eye brow rose as he took my hand into his leading me toward my backpack where he'd taken the liberty to take all my things out of the bag and put my school things in. "Promise me you won't leave m y side…"

"I won't, Kylie I'll never leave your side." He smiled gently as he helped me slid the back pack over my shoulders and lead me outside to Morty. We both climbed into the hearse before heading towards school I wasn't sure I was going to be able to face any one though. I was terrified as we parked in the usual parking spot.

"Eli, I'm scared." I admitted my blue ocean orbs finding his hazel almost green eyes. He smiled gently as he looked at me he reached his hand out and gently touched my face. I couldn't read his eyes and that wasn't something I was used to. I just wanted to curl up in the back of Morty and go back to sleep.

"Kylie, I'm right here and how about this, after school I'll take you out to your favorite little ice cream place and we'll go have ice cream in the park ok?" I looked at him, his offer was tempting. Ice cream could pretty much get me to do anything these days, it was almost all I would eat now well besides his moms cooking. Ice cream was comfort food.

"You win." I couldn't help but let out a soft laugh as I climbed out the passenger side door of the hearse before shutting the door and waiting for Eli to get out and come around to my side. It didn't take long before he walked over and grabbed my hand lacing our fingers together. I glanced down at our hands and then up at him and I saw him smirk.

"Hey Goldsworthy looks like you got a new toy?" Fitz's voice came from behind us as we walked towards our lockers. I just kept my eyes on the floor not really in the mood to deal with him.

"Shut up Fitz. I'm not in the mood for your shit today Understood?" Eli growled as he held my hand closer to his body as he got the things he would need from his locker. He grabbed the pass that he'd gotten from Simpson the day before out and handed it to me. "Here put this around your neck it's your pass to go to all my classes with me." He smiled as he slid the pass around my neck.

"Eli are you sure we can't just go home? I don't want to be here anymore?" My voice was soft as I looked for the boy's sympathy. The feelings were already racing in my head just with Fitz standing there staring at the two of us.

"Kylie, breath" he reassured me gently cupping my face in his hands rubbing my cheeks softly letting out a small breath kissing my nose. "It's going to be ok." He murmured softly slowly running his hands down my arms and grabbing my right hand.

"This is sickening" Fitz let out a disgusted noise before slamming something and storming off in the other direction. I looked to Eli, he just squeezed my hand as we headed down the hall way to his first hour.

It'd only been four hours. Four class periods and the most miserable class periods I'd ever experienced. Everyone came to me one after another some saying they were sorry for my loss some asking me what had happened. Most of the teachers would call the students attention away from me as best they could but even they wore a look of sympathy on their face.

As we walked into the cafeteria for lunch Eli still had his arm around my waist holding me close to him as we went through the line. Though Eli got food I just kind of leaned against him refusing to do much of anything or even look interested in the food as more people whispered as I passed them.

"Come on you've got to want something Hon." Eli's voice was soft as he held his Tray in one hand while the other continued to hold me closer to his body. I shook my head pressing my face against the side of his body letting out a soft sigh.

"Do I have to eat?" I mumbled looking up to him my blue eyes finding his hazel/almost green emerald eyes as he returned the puppy dog look that I was giving him. It was just a question of who was going to give in to the face first. I sighed, knowing his face meant he was worrying about me.

"Please, you barely eat anything even if it's just a cookie…please?" His voice was desperate as he looked down at me. I slowly nodded my head pointing to the little cup of diced peaches that they were selling today. His grin turned into a smile when he saw that I was indicating actual food.

"What doesn't she talk any more or does she just point?" Holly Jay came up from behind us looking at me. Eli tensed as he held me closer to his body putting the peaches on the tray and giving the prude behind us the finger.

"How's your back?" My voice surprised both of them as Holly looked at me with a confused expression on her face. "I mean last time I checked you do spend most of your time on it." I spat venom filling my voice and I knew I'd struck a sore spot when her whole face turned red and she stormed off screaming that it wouldn't be the last I'd heard of her. Eli chuckled as he looked down at me.

"That was pretty badass Kylie." He smiled as he ruffled my hair before leading me to a cafeteria table where he normally say. We both glanced up as Adam slowly approached the table with Fiona linked arm in arm with him.

"Hey guys," Adam slowly slid himself onto the bench as Fiona smiled sympathetically at me before taking a seat next to Adam, leaning against him as she played with the food on her tray. I looked between the two before offering them a slight smile and turning back to the peaches in the little plastic container in front of me.

"Do I detect a hint of commitment between you two?" I could hear the smirk in Eli's voice and even though I wasn't looking up I knew all to well that Adam's face was probably bright red matching Fiona's slight blush.

"Yeah, she's my girlfriend now." The smile in Adam's voice was pleasant seeing as the last time I'd seen him he'd run out of the room screaming and refused to come back since then. I rolled my eyes as I finished the last peach out of the bowl and set it on Eli's try before setting my head on the cafeteria table and closing my eyes, covering my head with my arms.

"Cute, I always knew you guys would end up as a couple." The joking for front of his voice was masked by a worried mix in it. I just let out a heavy sigh before pressing my face into my arms further and starting to drift to sleep right there on the café table.

"How is she doing?" I could still hear the conversation but I was in that state of 'asleep but still alert to everything around me.' Fiona's voice was much different than the two voices I was used to listening too so I could hear everything she was saying clearest.

"She's…well, this is what she does most of the time but I think she's handling it rather well." Eli's voice was soft and comforting and I felt his hand on the small of my back rubbing up and down softly as I "slept"

"So are you two official or something? I mean it's been going around school that you two are dating and Jen's starting to get really jealous I mean she punched in some locker yesterday…" Adam tip toed as he spoke scared to upset Eli. I could feel Eli tense slightly before going back to rubbing the small of my back.

"I'm going to ask her to make if official with me tonight, I'm taking her out to her favorite little ice cream place and after I make it official with her, my mom has a surprise for her." I could hear the grin in his voice yet again and though I was eager to know what the surprise was and my heart was fluttering at the idea of being officially Eli's girlfriend, I didn't have enough energy to really pick my head up and let them know I was awake.

"Hi Eli!" A shrill voice followed by a slam on the table next to my head caused me to shoot up nearly smacking Eli's head with mine. My heart beating rapidly against my chest from the scare. I whipped my head to the side to make eye contact with the one who had made the noise.

"Hi Jen…" I didn't need to see his face to know he was annoyed though she didn't seem to get the hint. I let out a low growl sounding almost dog like as I glared at the woman sitting only a few inches away from me.

"How are you? I haven't seen you in a while I mean you've been gone so much from school." All her sympathy for me must have faded awful quickly as she returned the glare that I was giving her as if it was all my fault that Eli was staying home. (Even though I knew it really was she had no right to accuse me)

"I'm fine Jen, I've been helping my mom redecorate the guest room and make enough room for someone else to live in our house for the past week or so." I looked to him it wasn't a total lie. He and his mother had been working on the guest bed room for awhile and though I had no idea what might be going on I didn't want to get my hopes up.

"Really who's going to move in with you?" I wanted to claw her eyeballs out as she sat there a smug little smirk on her face anger filling me. It wasn't her business who was moving into his house if any one even was!

"What's it matter who's moving in?" Eli snapped and my whole body tensed as he did. He caught on and slowly relaxed his body again causing me to relax mine back into his wanting to just close my eyes and go back to sleep but Jen's annoying voice was making it very difficult.

"Oh it's for little miss pathetic? You're mom "adopting" her" Jen let out a laugh and I balled my fists up by my sides clenching them and my jaw tightened as she called me pathetic. Eli's body was a little tense but it was more relaxed then mine.

"You wanna run that by me again?" I snarled as I started to inch closer to her. Eli's arms quickly flew around my waist as he looked at his ex girlfriend slightly irritated but more irate.

"Jen! Just stop! Leave her alone! I mean I always knew you were heartless but damn." Fiona came to my rescue and I was slightly shocked. I'd never spent any kind of time with Fiona so to hear her standing up for me was nothing short of amazing.

"Great now one of the school sluts is standing up for you." Jen spat causing Adam to nearly jump over the table but Fiona had him by his arms a gentle smile on her face trying to get him to calm down. Even though Eli had a hold of me and was trying to calm me down it wasn't nearly as effective.

"OH I don't need ANY one to stand up for me." I hissed I went to raise my fist but Eli quickly grabbed both my wrists gently holding me back from damaging her face. "Let me go! She could use a new nose job any way!" I spat as I looked toward her. She just grinned and shook her head standing up as the bell rang signaling lunch was over.

"I just feel bad that Eli was so torn up about our break up that he stooped down to dating the school psycho" She smirked as she dumped her tray before walking off leaving Eli holding my wrists an angry look on his face.

"You can let go I'm not going after her." I snapped as I stood up slowly looking towards Eli who's expression was still angry as he watched Jen walk out.

"She's one to talk." Eli rolled his eyes slowly standing up and throwing away his food setting his tray down before looking towards me and smiling gently.

"I hate her." I growled the upset expression still placed on my face. He shook his head setting his hand on my cheek, placing a soft kiss against my lips to replace the smile before taking my hand and leading me towards the next hour of the day.


	9. Chapter 9

Sitting in the ice cream shop was a refreshing change since I'd spent all day being looked at pathetically until I felt like I was going to throw up just to make them stop looking. Eli was sitting across from me a spoon in his ice cream playing with it a little bit looking a little nervous. I was eating my ice cream by the spoonful though it was more sprinkles then ice cream in the dish.

"Eli?" His head snapped up like he'd been thinking about something and I snapped him out of it. I looked at him for a moment as the smile he'd worn early replaced its self on his face. "You ok?"

"I'm perfect Kylie; I'm just thinking that's all." He smiled gently as he reached over a napkin in his fingers wiping some ice cream off my face. I blushed and turned my face away slightly but he just shook his head and laughed lightly.

"What are you thinking about?" I cocked my head to the side as I waited for him to answer my question having a feeling that I knew what was going to come next.

"Just…about us…That kiss we shared awhile ago, that time you spent at my house and the feelings I get when I'm with you…" He drew in a deep breath his eyes searching mine before shifting to his hands. "I want; it made me realize that, I want to be with you more than anything else in this world." I felt my heart swell almost to a breaking point as I looked toward the fragile male sitting across from me.

"Eli, Look at me." I smiled gently as I reached out taking his hand into mine before giggling "If you're trying to ask me to be your girlfriend the answer is yes." The grin on my face was one like no other. I'd waited years for this I'd never thought I'd feel like this about any one much less my best friend.

"Really?" He seemed as shocked as I was that this was really happening. I nodded my head slowly and he reached over touching my cheek gently. "Good I'm so happy you said you would" He spoke softly as he leaned forward gently pressing his lips to mine briefly "I can do a lot more of that now." He teased.

"I'm looking forward to a whole lot more of that." I giggled gently as I stood up moving so I was sitting right next to him. I shivered as I set my head on his shoulder because the ice cream shop was, well it was cold (big surprise right-_-).

"Are you cold Hon?" Eli's arms slowly wound their way around my waist; he pulled me against his body. I instantly snuggled up to his body setting my head against his shoulder.

"Yeah I am. Let's get out of here and head back to your house…" I suggested. He squirmed for a moment looking around, nodding his head he stood up slowly taking me with him. He seemed hesitant to take me back to his house like something was wrong and he knew it.

"Alright, let's go." He smiled gently down at me as he lead me out to his car. I was content, happy even for the first time, even though in only two days I was going to be standing at my mother's funeral. I didn't want to think about that, my heart wouldn't let me.

"I promise I'll move back into my house after the funeral, I'll stop taking up room in your guys' house." I mumbled as we reached his car fearing that, that was what was wrong with him. Fearing that now that we were official he didn't want me in the same house with him anymore.

"Beautiful, that's not it at all." He laughed gently. "It's the complete opposite, I want you at my house all the time!" he threw his arms up before gently grabbing my forearms and pulling me closer to him. "I Thought you had already figured it out with slut face giving away the surprise today." He let out a gentle laugh. "But I guess you really were pretty out of it at lunch huh?" I looked at him confused.

"What are you talking about?" I'm sure my face expressed all the confusion I was feeling at the moment because he just laughed and kissed my forehead.

"Don't worry about it! You'll find out tonight after we get back." He smiled innocently as we climbed into the car and shook his head leaving me in the dark about what the hell was really going on. I glared at him slightly as I got into the car shutting the door and resting against the window.

"OK, But I'm not good with surprises Eli" I pouted my bottom lip out slightly, it was silent on the drive home, no music, no talking, no nothing it was ridiculous and it made me feel on edge. Pulling up to Eli's house I saw police car in his drive way and my heart sped up and just by glancing toward Eli I could tell it wasn't planned for that to be here.

"You sure you don't want to turn around and go to the park?" His lips were pursed and the little vain in his neck was starting to show, the grip he had on the steering wheel had his knuckles turning white. I drew in a deep breath before looking back out the window and shook my head.

"No, you're parents shouldn't have to deal with MY problem Eli, it's not their fault." I spoke quietly as the car came to a complete stop. I unstrapped and opened my door not waiting for Eli to help me out. I closed the door and looked towards the cop car my heart still beating out of my chest, closing my eyes for a moment I regained my composer and started to walk to the house refusing to look behind me to see if Eli was coming or not.

"I'm coming!" Eli shouted from somewhere behind me, I heard his door slam and the gravel crunching under his feet as he rushed towards me. I felt a soft hand on my back as we reached the front door. I slowly walked into the house still refusing to look anywhere but forward I was scared to death.

"Just who we needed to talk to…" The police officer was old, grey hair with a majorly receding hair line, a caterpillar made of hair on his upper lip, dark musty blue eyes and a beer gut. I swallowed my fear and looked him in the eye my hands in tight fists at my side.

"What's going on?" My voice came out a lot stronger than I had expected it to. It sounded like I had power like I wasn't getting ready to turn around and run out of the house in a fit of fear. He seemed surprised that I had actually said something.

"Well, we have your father in custody but you see he's saying you killed her and tried to kill him and that's why he took off…" The officer seemed like he didn't even believe the bullshit that he was spitting.

"That's why you're here? Because you think I who was HERE for the past almost two weeks after he punch me so hard in the face that it split my skin under my eye, killed my mother that day?" The venom was dripping from my voice, my heart picked up its pace and I could feel my blood start to boil.

"I'm sorry there's no evidence linking your father to the scene of the crime and we did find you're heals with blood on them…and your finger prints, though smudge on the knife that was used to kill her…" I glared before shaking my head the reason my finger prints were on the blade was because I'd used that knife to cut.

"So you are assuming I did it! You saw me the first day I FOUND her body you sick bastard!" I screeched as I simply started to lose it my hands started shaking "I've been HERE I had NO time to kill her. You wanna know why my finger prints were on the god damn blade?" I couldn't even feel Eli's hands on my waist trying to help calm me down.

"Well, you're legal guardians are trying to explain to me that you've been here and they have pictures of the abuse he caused you, but yes I would like to know why your prints are on the blade…" He seemed insecure of himself now. CeCe quickly stood up and looked at me.

"You don't have to show him anything, we'll get the best damn lawyer around." She spat quickly. I was too angry to realize he'd called CeCe and bullfrog my legal guardians.

"No! You know why? This is why! I used it to do this!" I ripped the hoodie I had been wearing off my body revealing all the scars and still healing cuts on my arms "AND THIS!" I screamed as I pulled my shirt from my body revealing the largest scar of them all. It was a thin line from one hip to the other all the way across, no one had ever seen it before. It was a night where I'd heard my parents screaming and my father had hit my mother one night blaming me.

"Oh my god…" Cece's voice told me she was welling up with tears as I stood there in my bra tears starting to spill out of my eyes and down my flushed red cheeks. My anger was boiling over and the pain I was in emotionally was so much I could hurt the first person that got near me.

"Are you happy now?" I heard Eli from somewhere behind me. His voice was almost demonic, he was angrier then I'd ever heard him before. I could literally feel the venom dripping off his words. "You've caught a suicidal teenager THAT'S ALL YOU'VE CAUGHT" Eli raised his voice and CeCe cringed as Bull frog quickly got up walking over to his son and setting his hand on his shoulder.

"It's ok Eli, We aren't going to let him accuse her of murder we all know where she was, we all know she's innocent and we all know he did it. I won't let them take her away from you." He assured his steaming son. The officer still seemed in shock as he looked at me drawing in a deep breath he looked more and more uncomfortable by the second.

"Well, I can see why your finger prints were smudged and on the blade…" He trailed off looking at what he probably thought was a pretty scary looking family. I shook as I stood their my whole body shaking not only from the fact it was c old and the door was still cracked but the fact that I was so angry so hurt.

"Yes, now that you have come in our home and RUINED the night for us I would like you to get the hell out, I will come down to the station tomorrow with the pictures of the injuries he caused her." Bullfrog growled. Now I'd never heard or seen him angry but his face was red and I knew he was only being level headed because both Eli and I had lost ours.

"Yes sir, We are keeping your father in custody charged with murder, We'll need your help with the case." He spoke weakly as he made his way past the four of us and nearly ran out of the house back to his patrol car.


	10. Chapter 10

The officer had left two hours ago and I was still sitting in the couch my head in my hands my body shaking and tears pouring down my face. Eli's arms were firmly around my body and his head was set on top of mine as he held me close. I whimpered and sobbed in his arms pressing my face further into the palm of my hands.

"Kylie?" Cece's voice was soft and un sure as she sat down in front of me. "I don't know if you heard the officer earlier but I figure now is the best time as any at this point." Slowly I looked up at her my eyes swollen and tears still fallen and I was barely looking at her just peaking at her from behind my fingers.

"Mom, She's not going to be upset about that, you don't have to tip toe around what you're about to say…"Eli's voice kind of shocked me, seeing as both of us had been sitting their silently for the past two hours, him just letting me cry.

"Well, you're mother made me promise a few days before you found her dead, that if anything ever happened to her that we would become your guardians…" She took a deep breath and slowly I tilted my head up to fully look at her though looking at any one through my swollen eyes hurt.

"She wrote it out in a will as a final request and turned it into a lawyer; she had a feeling that something was going to happen to her. She made CeCe and I promise not to tell you …"Bullfrog entered the room a cigarette stuck behind his ear as he looked towards me a gentle look on his face. I could feel my heart sink.

"So as soon as we found out your mother was dead we contacted the number she gave us and it was the social work that would be taking your case if something was to happen to your mom…" She stopped for a moment drawing in a deep breath. "The paper work was filled out and the case worker came through while you were at school the other day to check out the guest room that we redecorated and named as your room-"

"Even though we all know you'll be spending most of your time in Eli's" Bullfrog cut his wife off with a grin placed on his face. I blushed but it was weak considering how flushed my face already was from sobbing for two hours.

"And, well I guess what I'm trying to say is you live here now and we are your…Legal guardians but that doesn't change anything." She smiled gently as she reached over gently touching my face. I wasn't really sure how to react I was thankful to them but my brain was so fried and so tired that all I could do was look at her like a deer caught in car head lights.

"Thank you." My voice was raspy and barely there from crying. My throat was dry and my head was throbbing. CeCe just smiled I think she understood how completely drained I was from what I'd just dealt with from that officer.

"You're welcome sweet heart; I know you'll be my daughter in law some day." She winked before standing up causing Eli to groan and run his fingers through his head as she walked out of the room. I looked up towards Eli slightly wincing as my head pounded yet again.

"That was the surprise I was talking about at the ice cream shop. Mom's been working on that room for you, since you're mom called and said something might happen because the case worker said you had to have your own room in the house." Eli expanded on his mother explanation and why they'd created a room when we all knew what bullfrog had said was true. I probably wouldn't leave Eli's bed or his side.

"You're mom's amazing Eli." I mumbled gently as I tried to get up off Eli's lap so I could look at him but my body didn't want to move, it didn't even want to push its self off of Eli.

"I know, Come on let's get you to bed, I'll do our homework tonight and then we can have the whole weekend to ourselves just me and you." Eli smiled as he pushed himself off the couch his arms still wrapped around my body as he carried me into the bed room I'd become familiar too.

"NO! I don't want to lay down unless you're going to lay with me." I squeaked as my hands tangled into the fabric of Eli's shirt. He smiled gently shaking his head and set me down on the bed crawling onto the bed with me pulling me closer to his body. I set my head against his chest and let my eyes start to close.

"Kylie having you around is one of the best things to happen to me, I never understood what I was missing when I was dating Jen and now I understand it." I giggled slightly pressing my face further against his chest.

"Stop it Eli, I'm nothing special." I grumbled unable to really make a coherent sentence with my eyes starting to drift to a close position and I couldn't force them open no matter how hard I tried.

"You are so tired." He laughed his chest gently rising and falling as he did. He pulled the blanket around us and kissed my forehead. "Everything's going to be Ok now. I have you." He whispered rocking me in his arms until I fell asleep.

The next few days passed as kind of a blur. Eli helped me to the best of his knowledge with all the homework that I had missed. I'd skipped school on Monday and now today was the day of my mom's funeral. I was scared and emotional more than I'd ever been in my life. Today was the day that I couldn't deny it any more, my mom was dead.

I slid the dark black jacket over my arms as my black dress hugged my body matching the black heals that I was wearing. I had thick black eyeliner on and no mascara, I'd done my hair up so that I could put a black bow in my hair for her, it was her favorite thing I would wear sometimes. I could already feel the tears starting to prick behind my eyes and I was just standing in the parking lot of the church that the funeral was being held at.

"You look fine." Eli commented for about the fifth time since we'd left the house. I'd been readjusting my clothes since we stepped into the car, fiddling with the bow in my hair and my jacket, Eli continued to reassured me that everything was fine. He was dressed in a black tux with a stripped vest buttoned and a black tie around his neck and his hair tussled almost looked like sex hair and he looked really good. If I wasn't so focused on the depression starting to seep through my veins I would have jumped him.

"I know Eli, you keep saying that." I sighed looking towards him tears starting to drip down my pale face. The look on his face was of pain, he seemed to hurt just as much as I was, and though I had a feeling his pain was a result of my own.

"You can do this, you need to say goodbye, and you have to tell all these wonderful people how amazing you're mother was to you." He leaned in and kissed the tears that had fallen down my cheeks. I shook my head looking at him with the saddest expression.

"I can't go in there and look at those people what if they think I did it too? What if they don't believe that my dad did it…that I'm just that horrible." I began to ramble tears starting to build up again in my eyes. Eli looked at me letting out a gentle sigh kissing my forehead and pulling me close to his body.

"Come on Beautiful, I promise I'm not going to leave your side." He murmured gently into my ear as he grabbed my hand lacing his fingers with mine leading me towards the little church. Slowly we walked into the grim funeral home, a bunch of my mom's family had gathered my father's family was there too neither side speaking to each other and somehow I felt as if I was placed in the middle of it all.

"Oh Kylie sweet heart." My grandmother on my mother's side jumped up and ran to me wrapping her arms around me holding me tightly. I drew in a deep breath holding my grandmother close tears starting to roll down my face yet again.

"Hey Grandma" I laughed bitterly pulling back as I looked at her "I haven't seen you in a very long time..."

"Well we've had some stuff going on but nothing that couldn't be put down for our only daughter's funeral." The way she'd said that made my whole body feel cold like I wasn't really anything. They just came down to see their dead daughter. I didn't ever mean much to them any way.

"I'm sure she'd love that you were here" I choked out before letting go of her and letting go of my grip on Eli's hand as I started to walk towards the front knowing I was going to have to be the first to speak about my mother. There were pictures of her hung up around the place and the casket was open and the mortuary had done a fantastic job of making her look like she was just sleeping. It was the first time in weeks that I'd seen my mother.

Even though she was in the casket she looked like she was just asleep. The mutilating cuts that had been on her face and arms and neck when I found her were covered. She was dressed in her favorite long sleeve black and red striped blouse. Her dark hair was brushed back gently resting against her pale face. Even a little bit of make up on her face almost gave her the appearance she was alive. I let out a small sigh of relief when I noticed the wedding ring she always wore had been taken from her finger. I hadn't realized that I'd been standing there just staring until I felt Eli's hands on my hips.

"Come on babe, it's time for you to talk." He spoke softly as he kissed my temple. I turned to look at him for a moment before glancing back to my mother in the casket. I nodded slowly walking over to the podium and looking around the little church. Everyone had a different expression from anger and resentment to hurt and immense pain.

"Hello, I'm glad you could all come today, she would be happy you were here." I spoke softly and all the faces in the church looked to me. I swallowed my grip on the podium tightening. Eli had moved from my side to sit in the front letting me know he was here If I needed help.

"You should be in jail" I heard someone in the church mutter under their breath and instead of lashing out I just hung my head for a moment. I heard someone start moving around but for some reason I couldn't bring myself to look up at them again.

"I know that some of you feel as if it's my fault this has happened, though I'm not sure why. My mother was everything to me. She always took care of me, she never wanted me to get hurt. Always was apologizing for my father's actions whenever I would get caught in the cross fire. Sending me away to Eli's house when she was afraid I wouldn't be safe…"

"But that's not why all of you are here. All of you are here because she's dead now and everyone here deserves to know that she's in heaven where she deserves to be. Where she can't be harassed or treated poorly by me or anyone else anymore." I slowly glanced up at the audience everyone had settled and everyone had tears in their eyes.

"If you killed her why are you sorry?" Another random commentator and I made eye contact with Eli who was starting to get fidgety and angrier after every comment directed at me like that.

"This isn't a trial. I didn't kill my mother and whoever killed her is NOT why we are here today. We are HERE to celebrate my mom's life! Not to point fingers at innocent people! She was an amazing woman! I loved her to death…"

"And look it seemed to come to that." Another snarky remark only this time I'd seen who had made it. My blood began to boil. It was my aunt on my dad's side.

"Oh? You seem to think I killed her. This is the third time you've said something. News flash I didn't kill my mom. I loved my mom. You know who killed her. My dad killed her and he was GOING to kill me. Blaming me isn't going to help you're brothers situation." I snarled everything in my body getting ready to lunge at her.

"You're a worthless bitch!" She screamed and that was it Eli was out of his seat at my side. CeCe was standing up headed towards my aunt and bullfrog was jogging after her.


	11. Chapter 11

The funeral had gone downhill from that moment. The police had to be called and the family escorted from the funeral home. Now Eli and I and my mother's side of the family was all gathered around a large hole in the ground. I didn't know how I was still standing my whole body was shaking tears were pouring down my cheeks and I was staring at the dirt.

"We are gathered here today in remembrance of…" and I couldn't hear anything anymore. My body was frozen I could see my breath, but the rest of the world seemed to be spinning in circles. I closed my eyes falling back against Eli

"Whoa! Whoa! Kylie!" Eli shouted As he tried to hold me up. I couldn't think straight much less feel anything in my body as I felt my knees gave way. "KYLIE!" His voice was harsh and loud. Some how it managed to be enough to at least get me to keep my eyes open. I'm sure every one's eyes were on me at this point though the only thing I could see was Eli's concerned face looking down at me.

"Should we call 911?" I heard a deep voice call from somewhere around me. Not sure exactly where to pin point the noise or where it was coming from at this point. My body felt heavier than normal, it was a fight to keep my eyes open at this point.

"No, she's fine, she's just under a lot of stress and this..." I could hear CeCe talking but I couldn't see her. I kept my focus on Eli's very worried face. "This, mess that we have going on here isn't doing her any good." She sighed softly and I suddenly felt some one's hands on the back of my head as I was laid down against the ground.

"Mom, Can you go get the car? She just needs to go back to the house." Why did his voice seem so far away? I looked at him dazed and very much confused. I reached my hand up but nothing happened. I swore I was moving my hand but nothing seemed to be happening.

"Yeah, help him out…" CeCe signaled for someone else to move in and slowly Bullfrog came into view looking just as confused as I felt.

"She's done this before, well something like this, the day we found her mom dead. She freaked out almost quit breathing. I think it's some kind of shock or stress defense." Eli mumbled to his father as his finger tips slowly came in contact with my cheek.

"Eli..." I croaked but it didn't even come out above a whisper. I tried to take a deep breath, I couldn't. It felt like there was a one hundred pound weight on my chest preventing my chest from moving like I needed it too.

"Kylie." He leaned down softly his face closer to mine now. He set one hand on my cheek and the other by my head as he looked at me. "You're ok; we're going to get you home. Count with me." He said suddenly. I stared at him for a moment before he began to actually count out loud.

"Four…Five…Six…" I slowly caught on to his counting rhythm. I was so focused on counting that I didn't notice CeCe run back over and look down at us. Eli's face started to light up as we continued to count and I seemed to gain more and more consciousness as we counted together.

"There we go, good job Eli." Bullfrog smiled gently as he stood up pulling me up slowly off the ground careful not to move me to fast and make all the blood rush to my head. "You okay there Ky?" His father held me steady for a few minutes until I slowly was able to nod my head.

"I'm ok." I uttered gently looking towards Eli. Eli let out a soft sigh it sounded relieved that I was alright at least; I believe that's what the sigh was about.

"Come on, Kylie lets get you back to the house." Eli urged as he ignored all the people in the background still looking at the hole that was dug into the ground waiting for the coffin my mother was in to be placed into it.

"Maybe…maybe I should stay?" I turned away from Eli my body feeling stiff and freezing as I faced the coffin being slowly lowered into the hole. I felt Eli's hands gently on my arms before he appeared in front of me, blocking my view of the coffin being lowered.

"No, We need to go home Kylie." I tried to look around him but every time I moved my head so did he. I let out a small frustrated sigh.

"I'm fine though Eli! I just want to see her put to re-" I choked on the words as they attempted to leave my throat. Eli raised an eyebrow as if he had just proved a point.

"Kylie, the grave will be here for you to visit by yourself or with me any time you want." He was desperately trying to convince me to head back to the house. I could feel both CeCe and bullfrog behind me ready to catch me if I fainted again.

"Eli…" I countered as I started to argue my defense. He moved out of my way enough so I could see the grave finally being placed in the ground. The burrier picked up a shovel and filled the shovel with a fair amount of dirt. "no!" I shrieked as he threw the dirt into the hole.

"No what" He looked up a look of confusion and irritation on his face. My heart was racing again and Eli was getting ready to edge himself back in front of me but he stayed at my side for the moment.

"Don't…Don't do that! Don't…Don't cover her with dirt!" I rushed out looking at him tears starting to form again. I could faintly hear several people let out small sobs and a few 'oh the poor thing' came from the crowd.

"Listen, This is what has to be done. This funeral has already run over its allotted time slot. I need to put the dirt on and fill up the hole." HE was trying to be as nice as possible but the obvious agitation and impatiens was creeping through.

"Eli, don't…don't let him" I begged turning to face the only person that seemed to be able to make everything seem just fine. Eli looked at me helplessly; a certain amount of pain etched onto his face as he gently took my hands into his.

"Kylie, she needs to be buried. Come on. I'll bring you back later to say goodbye ok?" He spoke softly. My whole body was starting to shake again at the anxiety I was beginning to feel piling on as he threw another shovel full of dirt into the hole.

"No! She'll be too far away!" I cried looking at Eli desperately looking for some kind of help or support from the other teenager. The hurt on his face intensified, he let go of my hands for a moment, replacing his hands on my hips and pulling me closer to him.

"Let's go Ky, you don't need to see this." He murmured gently pressing his face into my hair and holding me against his body tighter than normal but I could understand why. I had just fainted on him and I was starting to build up rage the more dirt that was put into the hole.

"Yeah, come on sweet heart. We'll take you home and cook you some good food… and Eli can watch movies, you don't have to go to school tomorrow." CeCe was trying to reason with me now and I was starting to give in as my fist clenched.

"I need her." I looked away from Eli to CeCe who had tears of her own forming in her eyes and starting to drip down her face. CeCe let out a small whimper before reaching out and wiping a few tears from my face.

"It's going to be alright sweetie, It'll get easier with time..." She tried to reassure me but I wasn't sure that was even enough. Just listening to the dirt hit the wooden coffin cover made my body quake in anger and sadness.

"I know what you're feeling Kylie, remember Julia? My ex girlfriend. Well I sort of know." Eli reasoned. I looked at him my eyes bloodshot and tears still forcing themselves down my face.

"She's my mom Eli; I need her…Burry me with her!" I cried softly my whole body shaking as I sobbed. He continued to hold my waist and hold me against him.

"No, You're mom wouldn't have wanted you buried with her. Why do you think she didn't argue when you came over to my house and didn't want to go home? She knew something was going to happen or she wouldn't have called my mom kylie.." Eli was beginning to make more and more sense and something about him making sense was making me angry.

"No!" I screamed fighting out of his arms accidently scratching him as I pushed him away "you're lying!" I screamed slowly starting to back up pushing my way through people as tears continued down my face.

"Kylie, we wouldn't lie" CeCe started to shout back but Eli gave her some kind of look and a hand signal that made her stop talking as I continued to back up my leg hitting up against a head stone.

"QUIT IT! QUIT PUTTING DIRT IN!" I was growling now. The man that held the shovel dropped it and looked around concerned I was going to attack him. He slowly backed away from the shovel. The preacher that was there escorted the rest of the group away from me and the hole my mom's coffin was now laying in.

"Kylie, screaming at the digger, or the preacher, even the hole in the ground, it's not going to make your mom magically reappear." It was Eli; his voice was thick with concern and something else.

"SHUT UP!" I glared at him digging my nails into the palm of my hands as my feet hit another head stone. I felt like all my blood was rushing to my head and away from my heart as it pounded desperately in my chest.

"Kylie, I know what it's like to watch someone you love get buried. Believe me, putting a few layers of dirt between you and the coffin isn't going to make one bit of a difference." I let out an ear piercing scream and his hands flew up to cover his ears.

"No! NO NO NO!" I screamed shaking my head as I tripped and fell over another head stone landing on my butt, hard. I sat their stunned for a moment before digging my fingers into the dirt be low me anger still coursing through me.

"Please, Just let me come be near you…I won't pick you up or try and touch you…just let me come sit with you, Please kylie." Eli's voice was heart breaking. The pain in his voice reflected the tears that were starting to form in his eyes.

"I'll just hurt you!" I cried my whole body shaking the deeper I dug my fingers into the dirt. Eli shook his head cautiously moving towards me.

"No, I promise, you aren't going to hurt me. Just…just let me sit with you." He inched closer to see how I would react. I just glared at the dirt my body shaking from the cold and the emotions raging.

"I'm not worth your pain Eli." My voice wavered as I sobbed. Eli slowly sat down in front of me, not next to me because my hands were dug pretty deep into the muddy grass below us. I watched as his hand slowly slid under my chin.

"Never say that again," He tilted my head to face his, a small tear rolling down his face. "You are the only person that's ever made me feel alive again. You helped me move on after Julia. I'd give my life for you." My fingers were starting to grow numb from being in the dirt and I knew there was no way Eli was going to let me throw my nasty hands around him.

"I'm bad Eli; Everyone I love gets hurt…or killed…" I slowly shook his hand off my face pulling my knees up against my body. "I'm bad." I repeated my hands trying to ball into fists in the soil.

"No, you aren't bad. Your father is bad. He did this. He would have killed you too." Eli scooted closer to me setting his hands on my thighs rubbing them up and down creating a small amount of heat for me to enjoy.

"I should have died…people needed her Eli. No one NEEDS me." I repeated something I'd said days ago and the look on Eli's face was enough to shatter whatever was left of my heart.

"Kylie, I need you. I need you way more than I've ever let you know. If that were you in that hole right now, I'd be in it with you a bullet through my own chest just to go with you." His words hit and they hit hard, He really did love me.

"You're parents need you though… I would be ok…on my own." I mumbled gently as my fingers slowly uncurled in the dirt slowly I made eye contact with him.

"I love you, Kylie. I love my parents too. IF you were to die, my heart would go with you. I'm never going to leave you alone. I can't live without you Ky." Eli's hand started to slowly move up from my thighs now to my sides. He was inching his way towards me, more cautious than I'd ever seen him act before.

"Kylie, Baby girl, we love you like you were our own. Please, please let us take you home." I looked over. CeCe had tears rolling down her cheeks and bullfrog was holding her looking rather sad himself. I glanced back to Eli.

"We really do love you Ky; please let us take you home." Eli Looked towards me inching his face towards me. I bit down on my lip nodding slowly leaning my head forward meeting his. The kiss was one of desperation, one of pain and love.

As our lips met slowly my hands came up from the dirt and my body uncurled. I was desperate to get closer to him. Desperate to feel him against me, desperate to feel anything but pain, I rearranged my body my knees now on the ground under me as I moved my body closer towards his. He reached up his hands on my waist holding me steady as our mouths moved together. I grabbed his sleeves on his shirt pulling him even closer.

"Would you mind stopping the two of them? No one needs to see that." I faintly heard some voice I didn't recognize and then I heard CeCe shouting but I couldn't make out any of what she was saying. Slowly I pulled away from Eli and looked him in the eye both of us panting and out of breath.

"Let's go home," he murmured, gently he stood up taking me with him. His arms quickly found their way around my waist as we walked back to his parents. "It's ok mom, let's go before she changes her mind again." He smiled trying to lighten the mood but we all knew he was serious.


	12. Chapter 12

We'd gotten home from the funeral about a half hour ago. CeCe was still steaming and ranting about how that preacher had the nerve to ask Eli and I to stop kissing. I had never seen her so livid and bullfrog struggled to keep her from injuring the man. Eli and I had been silent on the ride home, to my surprise he allowed me to leave my dirty fingers into his shirt. His arms were still firmly wrapped around my waist the whole ride home.

Currently I was laying in a bath tub about six times the size of me. I'd never been in such a comfortable warm bath. Though I wasn't comfortable being completely naked in the bath so I wore a bikini that way, if I needed something Eli could get it for me and not have to worry about seeing something he didn't want to. The water felt so good on my body but it was hard to be alone with the quiet and my thoughts.

I didn't want to sit in here by myself, I wasn't sure I was really even safe with myself any more. I slowly reached out of the bath tub my eyes sore. I grabbed my cell phone sending a text message to the boy whom I knew was sitting outside the master bathroom in his parents room watching TV just in case I needed him. I set my phone down once the text was sent and waited.

Eli slowly entered the room closing the door behind him. He shuffled his feet across the floor; he had changed his shirt since we'd gotten back. He was now in dark skinny jeans and a white t-shirt while his clothes and mine were being cleaned. He smiled gently as he lowered himself onto the floor next to the tub.

The small smile on his face was all I needed right now. He reached out his fingers gently caressing my cheek. I could see the remains of tears that he shed from the traumatic day. I felt horrible because I knew that I was the cause of his pain. Eli leaned in and pressed his lips to my forehead before standing up again. My face became clouded with confusion as he left the room. I whimpered slightly as the cold air from the door being open hit me. Eli came back a few minutes later with a little radio tuning it to his father's radio station.

"A little music might help our minds deactivate for a little bit." His voice was raspy from all the screaming we had done early. Hell, I couldn't even force my voice louder than just above a whisper and it hurt to talk. I turned my head to face him as he returned to the spot by the tub after making sure the radio was at a good volume.

"Eli, Thank you." I mumbled, my strained voice sounding more like Bullfrogs did in the morning. Eli let out a small chuckle reaching over and stroking my cheek with the tips of his fingers. His hands were shaking slightly but I knew that it was just from the day's events.

"There is nothing we can't get through together Kylie. Don't ever worry that I'm leaving your side." He reassured me though I hadn't said a word. I slid up in the bath so I could be closer to him. He continued to stroke my cheek.

"I know Eli, I know" I let out a gentle laugh though it sounded quite pathetic. Eli's smile fell slightly as I winced after laughing.

"I wish I could have protected you better today" he started to ramble on about how he wished that he could have prevented anything happening to me. But I knew that there was nothing that he could have done. I would have done whatever I pleased today and it had nothing to do with him.

"Eli…" I trailed off trying to get him to stop talking. He continued to babble going on and on. Noting he was saying was even making sense any more. He was just mumbling to himself. I tried yet again to get his attention by saying his name when that failed I did the only thing I could possibly thing of to get his attention.

I grabbed the collar of his white t-shirt and pulled him in crashing our lips together. He had been in midsentence when our lips met so our tongues met and battled for dominance between each other. I had a tight grip on the collar of his shirt pulling him closer to me as we kissed. I knew he was still hurting from what had happened today and I was determined to make him forget all the pain.

His hands slowly moved from my face and the side of the tub. His left hand was tangled in my wet hair while his other hand rested on my neck holding me close. I gently bit down on his bottom lip pulling gently before attaching our mouths again. The heat radiating between us was enough to melt snow or so it felt. Both of us were breathing rapidly through our noses getting as much air in as we could without breaking apart.

We pulled away slightly to take a good deep breath before our lips connected yet again. I could feel my lips starting to swell but it was the best feeling in the world at this moment. I couldn't help the small moan that fell from my lips and into his mouth. His right hand moved from my neck down my arm slowly his hand slipped into the water resting on my stomach as I moved so I was lying on my back in the bath tub. Eli was on his knee's pulled half way over the tub just kissing me.

His hand was gently rubbing circles on the skin on my stomach as his lips feverishly caressed my own. He only broke the kiss to tilt my neck up and place small kisses against my neck his heart was pounding against his chest and I could feel mine matching his. He let out a soft moan against my throat as he worked his way back up to my lips connecting them again.

Slowly we pulled apart though neither of us really wanted to. Our bodies heated and aching to be pressed against each other. His forehead was pressed against mine and both of us were breathing heavily as we sat still not even hearing the music any further. I smirked as we slowly made eye contact our breathing still uneven.

"What do you say you help me out of this tub and we take this to your bed?" I couldn't help the smile on my face. He nodded his head reaching down into the tub and pulling the drain intentionally dragging his hands against my legs as he went. I felt shivers appear on my legs as he made his way back up my body winding his arm around my back to help me out of the tub.

"I say, that my lady sounds like a fantastic idea." His voice was deep and laced with compassion. I giggled though both of us knew we probably would do anything more than kiss and heavy petting the intense emotion was enough to make us crazy.

"USE PROTECTION YOU TWO!" We heard Bullfrog shout from somewhere in the master bed room. I looked at Eli and quickly turned a dark shade of pink.

"THANK YOU FOR RUINING THE MOMENT AND ANY CHANCE I MIGHT HAVE WITH HER TONIGHT!" Eli yelled back causing me to laugh and turn and even darker shade of red on my cheeks. Slowly I stepped out of the tub and turned to Eli. A mischievous smirk imprinted onto my face as I grabbed his white t-shirt and pulled him against my wet body.

"Oh? He didn't ruin anything for you." I growled lowly and playfully as his heart pounded away at his chest. His eyes grew bigger than I'd ever seen them get. He leaned down and pressed his lips softly to mine.

"Let's get a towel around you and get to my room then beautiful." He purred. He grabbed the pink towel hanging on the towel rack. He wrapped it around my body and then slowly wrapped his arms around my waist leading me out of the master bathroom and led me back to his room.

Once we got back to his bed room he rubbed his hands up and down my sides through the towel in an attempt to help me dry off. I giggled and pushed his hands off and jumped onto his bed before he could even stop me. I knew the pillows would get wet but my body dried off pretty quickly. I allowed the towel to fall so it was under me on the bed. I sat there looking at him with a cute little grin on my face.

"Oh so that's how it is?" he teased before jumping onto the bed with me. He let out a soft chuckle as he climbed on top of me his knees on either side of my hips. I let out a soft giggle as he leaned down starting to bit and kiss my neck careful not to lean his body down on top of mine in case he crushed me.

"Yeah that's how it is, Ooh." I let out a small gasp as Eli found the weak spot on my neck. It was right below my ear. It was the one spot on my body that could immediately turn me into a puddle of mush. It felt so good to have someone kiss or touch that area. It'd only been touched once before and it had been used against me.

"Oh? Did I find the weak spot?" His voice was laced with amusement as I felt his tongue dart out and press against that small dip under my ear. I let out another soft groan allowing my hands to find his hair pulling on it a little to roughly.

"Careful their mister Cocky. I know where you're week spot is." I warned. He pulled away from the small spot on my neck looking at me one of his eyebrows raised.

"Oh? I'd like to see you find it." He challenged. I flipped us over so I was on top of him straddling his waist. One hand in his hair and the other hand creeping its way up his shirt. He looked like he was already in heaven as I gently touched his stomach with my finger tips. I leaned down pressing a gentle kiss to the base of his throat slowly moving my kisses to the crook of his neck.

"Still think I can't find it?" I smirked as my tongue darted out right behind his ear.

"I do- oooh god." He gasped as my tongue met that sweet spot that made him arch his back off the bed and gasp for breath. It was too good to let him off easy. I nibbled gently on the spot causing him to whither underneath me.

"Told you I know where it was." I smirked as I pulled away. He looked like he was in heaven simply with the kissing that we'd just done. Eli let out a small laugh as he reached up and touched my face gently.

"I didn't doubt you, I just wanted you to kiss it." He admitted flipping us back over so he was on top of me this time around. He kissed my forehead and slowly made his way to my lips rubbing my neck gently with his finger tips. He rolled off me and lay next to me pulling the blanket around both of us wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me close.

"Eli, you're amazing." I mumbled as I pressed my head to his chest. His thin fingers began to thread themselves through my hair beginning to put me to sleep much faster than I wanted. He laughed when he noticed my breathing start to even out.

"You're amazing too Ky, sleep now I'll be here when you wake up." Where the last words I heard before I slipped into a peacefully sleep.


	13. Chapter 13

I woke up the next morning Eli still curled up his arms firmly around me. I could hear screaming though. I slipped out of Eli's arms without waking him as I grabbed a t-shirt from his floor and a pair of his pj pants from his closet slipping them on. I made my way out of his room. I could hear CeCe yelling but I wasn't sure what she was so upset about.

"Ma'am we can't hold him in jail! There isn't any evidence that he was even there the day she was murdered." I heard a high female voice but it wasn't the voice that got to me it was the words. "Patrick will be released in a few days if we can't find anything on him. We are holding him as long as we can." My father was going to get out of jail…

"You've got to keep him! He'll come after her!" I heard CeCe shout. I could hear the pain in her voice and as I approached the kitchen I could see the pain and anger on her face. "He'll kill her!"Bullfrog let out a small sigh.

"Ma'am we are doing the best we can to keep him there. But no jury in the right mind would think he did it, half the society is convinced the daughter did it…" Those words were a low blow.

"I didn't do it…" All of thee adults slowly turned away from the table and looked towards me. Tears were lining my eyes as I looked at the officer. I don't know what I had to do to convince the world that I didn't do it.

"We know you didn't baby girl." CeCe quickly stood up from the table starting to walk towards me. I shook my head and backed up a bit.

"No… no one believes me." My voice now shallow as I looked towards the woman that had been acting as my mother lately, the pain smothered her normally crystal clear blue eyes.

"That's not true…We believe you, we just can't prove that your father has done it…" The officer looked at me sympathetically. I felt my chest tighten and shook my head.

"Let him go then." I heard the small gasp come from Cece's mouth. I didn't turn to look at her though; I looked straight through the officer glaring towards the wall doing my best to keep any emotion from my face.

"You don't mean that! He'll come after you…" Bullfrog's raspy voice broke into the conversation. "He could hurt you and Eli." That was the one thing I was afraid of. I didn't want Eli to get hurt.

"But…not if I go away…If I leave and Eli..." I choked slightly on my own words as I tried to force my idea out. "If he stays…my dad...he won't know that Eli means any..." I had to stop and swallow yet again. "Anything to me…He won't hurt any of you..."

"No, no! I will NOT go against your mothers wishes. You are like a daughter to me Kylie! I won't let you leave." She was trying to sound firm but I could hear the cracking in her voice, I still couldn't look at her.

"You aren't safe though…I won't let you lose your only child CeCe." I slowly turned to look at her. Hoping that she could understand that I wanted to leave because I didn't want them to get hurt, I didn't want Eli to get hurt.

"No, no, you leaving isn't going to do anything but make your father angry. If we can record him threatening your life than we can keep him, though that entails you going down to the station and actually having a conversation..."The officer was trying to reason with me.

"That's not going to change that everyone is going to look at Eli's family as the one's harboring a murder." Even saying that word made me feel unclean and angry.

"That can be solved; we will set up a press briefing on the situation. We want you to speak." The officer slowly stood up and came towards me. I backed away again my back hitting the wall. "You need to understand you would be doing more harm by leaving this family right now, your father knows that you are here. He knows your mother was friends with CeCe."

"How do you know that he knows hmm?" the cold edge in my voice forced the officer to retreat slightly.

"We've been monitoring the letters he's sending out. He continues to send them to this address; we haven't read any of them though."

"Than read them!" CeCe shouted. The officer glared quickly over towards her and that alone was enough to make the violent feeling in the pit of my stomach grow.

"Don't look at her like that." I growled towards the officer. "She didn't do anything wrong. She's just trying to protect me." The officer let out a heavy sigh.

"Come with me to the station. You can talk to your father. The room will be full of officers you'll be safe. We can keep him in jail then..."

"Why the hell would he threaten me when he knows you guys are standing around? You have to stand outside. You have to let me be alone with him or he won't admit it." I spoke softly and CeCe let out a small sob from somewhere at my side.

"Kylie! Don't do that!" CeCe cried. I was causing her so much pain, it ripped me apart. I didn't deserve for her to love me. I didn't even deserve for her son to love me. I deserved to be in the ground with my mother.

"That's not a bad idea." The officer nodded. "I'll get everything set up and call you when we are ready?" I nodded. The officer walked over taking my hand and shaking it. I wrote down my cell phone and gave it to her. She nodded patting my shoulder. "You're a brave kid." she walked out of the house leaving me in the kitchen with CeCe and bullfrog.

"You can't be mad at me." I spoke softly turning towards them finally. "I'm doing this to protect you guys, to protect Eli, to honor my mom. I won't let someone else I love get hurt." CeCe looked at me pain in her eyes but she smiled through it.

"I'm not mad, just scared." She murmured making her way over to me and wrapping me in her arms rubbing my back gently. "I love you like a daughter and I know that Eli loves you more than I've seen him love any one." She added smiling gently.

"I can't lose him; I need him more than any one understands." I answered before kissing her cheek lightly and pulling out of the hug. "I'm going to go visit my mom's grave, I'll leave my cell phone here. You can send Eli to pick me up when they call ok? I promise CeCe I'm not going to go anywhere I need Eli and you guys way too much.

"We trust you, sweetie. Here have my cell phone. We'll have Eli call when he's on his way." She added. I know she just wanted a way to keep track of me and I let out a sigh. I knew she just cared. I slowly slipped the cell phone from her hands.

"Don't call, just come get me, but if you get worried you can text ok?" I spoke up softly grabbing my purse and stuffing the cell phone into it.

"We love you sweetie." Bullfrog smiled walking over and placing a small kiss on my forehead before allowing me to leave the house.

I knew that Eli would come early but I wasn't going to argue. I walked outside, it was cold the snow was starting to fall over the grass and road. I smiled slightly scooping some of the newly fallen snow into my hands as I headed down the street towards the cemetery. It wasn't far from Eli's house, which I really didn't mind. It was a good place to go when you needed to think and now that my mom was buried there I would find even more joy in going.

There was a razor in my purse though I couldn't decide if I was going to use it or not. After seeing the pain on Cece's face I wanted to more than anything, I was afraid that it would hurt her more though. I couldn't hurt her any more. I dug my feet into the snow trudging along until I reached the gate. I hopped the gate, not feeling like walking all the way around to the entrance.

I landed with a thud on my butt in the new fallen snow. I groaned slightly pulling myself up and dusting my back end off from any snow that might have stuck. I knew I'd get cold but the cold right now was enough of a numbing sensation to convince me not to cut.

Finding my mom's grave wasn't difficult after the fit I had thrown yesterday they had buried it in haste over night so the ground was slightly lumpy and rose over hers. I walked over and sat down into the snow a weak smile beginning to form on my face as I touched her head stone.

"I miss you mom, you were always there for me. I know you and dad fought a lot, I also know that you never wanted me to get hurt. You would have sent me to Eli's if I hadn't already been there. You knew he was going to kill you." I felt a small tear drop down my face. I quickly brushed it away fearing it would freeze there on my face.

"I know I shouldn't blame myself so much, I know you'd hate that I did it. I can't help it though, I'm going to go talk to dad, try to get him to say that he wants to kill me." I rubbed my fingers against the snow in the engraving of her name. "I know you'd be as worried as CeCe is but you are going to protect me I know you will." I laughed slightly. "I'm not sure how Eli's going to take it though, I'm afraid he's going to be angry with me." Sighing gently I grabbed my purse.

I pulled out the razor I kept hidden in it and slowly pulled it out smiling sadly as I felt a few more tears fall from my face. "This is the only razor I have left from when I was cutting. I know I've only been clean of cutting for a few days or weeks I'm not sure any more." I slid the razor into the dirt by her head stone. "But I know that with you keeping an eye on me and Eli by my side I don't need to do this anymore. It just makes everything worse."

I continued to talk to her spreading myself out across her grave. Pulling my jacket around my body and laying my head down against her head stone. "I Love you Mom, I won't let him go free without a fight, I don't care what I have to do." I smiled gently. I closed my eyes leaning against the stone beginning to hum and sing to myself.

I wasn't sure how much time had passed. I may have fallen asleep against the grave; I awoke to feet crunching the new layer of snow on the ground. I shivered realizing just how cold I was. I groaned slightly yawning and moving my arms out of my jacket to grab my purse having felt it vibrate or at least thinking I'd heard it.

"Kylie!" I turned my head and squinted as Eli came running toward me. He had skinny jeans on, his white painted ones. A dark black long sleeved shirt and a vest over it. I smiled as he reached me gloves on his hands.

"Hey you," I sounded like a frog. I scrunched my nose holding my frozen hands out to him so he could help me up off the ground. He looked like he'd been crying. I frowned reaching up and gently touching his face but he quickly whipped away from my hand.

"My god you're freezing!" he hissed slightly taking my hands into his. "How long have you been out here?" He pulled me closer to his body, leaning down to grab my purse. He slung it over his shoulder as he held me close to his body.

"I have no clue." I stuttered as I pressed my face into his chest realizing just how cold I had been. Eli's body against mine created a one of a kind heat.

"Let's get you in the back of Morty; we've still got about an hour or two before we need to go anywhere. My mom says they called to let her know the progress of setting everything up." The distress in his voice was much more obvious then he thought it was. He picked me up bridal style hugging me close as we made our way back to Morty.

"Eli," I let out a heavy sigh cuddling against him even further. "I need to do this; He'll get away if I don't." I glanced to his face and it mimicked his mother's pain from earlier as we reached his hearse finally. He opened up the back door sliding me in first before climbing in back with me.

"I know, I just…" He closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I don't want you to get hurt and being alone with him is going to cause that." We both knew that was a huge possibility. In fact I could almost guarantee I would get hurt. It would be worth it though.

"I know, he isn't going to get the chance to kill me though." I spoke softly as I looked toward Eli hoping that gave him some kind of comfort. He was looking at me with a look I'd never seen before. Somewhere between: pain, anxiety, and sheer terror.

"I don't want you to get hurt." I could barely hear him. I was starting to thaw and I inched towards him setting my cold hand against his warm cheek. He flinched slightly before relaxing into my hand looking at me.

"I know Eli; I don't want to get hurt either. Someone has to do this and I'm the only one that can. I'm doing it because he will kill you if he gets the chance." I could feel the tears starting to sting at the back of my eyelids once again.

"Let me go with you then." His suggestion wasn't something I'd thought about. Eli would be happier if he was there to protect me and my father would admit and threaten me if Eli was around, hell he'd probably try to take Eli out.

"You know, your mom is going to hate the idea but I guess since she's not going it's our decision to make." I smiled gently. The infamous Goldsworthy smirk started to appear on his lips. "I want you to come with me." I moved closer to him.

"Then I will, at least I can protect you, I don't trust the damn officers to get to you fast enough if he pulls something." He murmured as he slid one arm around my waist and slowly lowered me down so I was lying against the car floor.

"I trust you though." My fingers trailed up his arm and slowly found their place tangled in his dark locks.

"Good, I love you Kylie Anne Sanders."He leaned down. He'd said it over and over before but it never had been returned because I was always too scared. It felt right though, the words leaving his mouth. His hand gently placed on my side and his lips nearing mine.

"I love you too Elijah Thomas Goldsworthy." I murmured gently pressing my lips to his and pulling his head against mine. His hands rubbing small circles against my stomach and sides any exposed skin he could see he was touching.

"I'm glad to hear you say that." He murmured as he broke the kiss starting to trail kisses from my lips to my jaw and began to slowly nibble every where he was kissing. I let out a quiet moan arching my back off the floor and tilted my head to the side.

"Oh Eli…"I tightened my grip in his hair and pulled his body closer to mine, "Don't stop," I demanded. I rolled our hips together creating a whole new kind of heat between the two of us.


	14. Chapter 14

We only got to make out and heavy pet for a few minutes before the phone had gone off warning us that it was time to suck it up and head out to the little meeting place that the officers had set up. They had let my father go told him if he wasn't careful that they would pick him back up. I had texted him immediately telling him I needed to talk to him. The game was on and I was absolutely terrified of what was about to unfold.

I glanced to Eli who was sitting in the driver's seat as we sat in the parks parking lot and awaited my father's silver SUV to show up. I was fidgeting. My stomach was in not, I was sure I was going to throw up but I had to put up a front. If I looked even slightly sick Eli would refuse to let me out of the car and I was the one wearing the microphone and camera. The microphone was in my bra and the camera was laced with in my ear ring on the left side. Eli though was also fitted with a camera it was disguised as a button on his vest.

"He's pulling up." I looked to Eli tears ready to spill over. He smiled gently taking my hand and lacing his fingers with mine. I chewed my lip as my father's car came to a stop and he climbed out. Eli and I climbed out as well looking my father in the eye.

"You little bitch…" were the first words to leave my father's mouth. I could feel my throat start to close up as he began to near me. "I kill your mother and I was just going to leave! Just let you be but NO you had to rat on me!" He screamed.

"Leave her alone!" Eli jumped to try and get in my father's way. My father was having none of it. His fist collided with the side of Eli's face; a sickening noise was made when it happened. Eli fell back onto the ground and I feared he might be dead.

"Fine! I'll kill you first!" He screamed toward the crumpled boy that was my boyfriend. He went to stomp on Eli's stomach but I threw myself over Eli my back receiving the brunt of the stomp.

"Leave him alone please!" I begged as I rolled over to look at my father. He grabbed me by the hair throwing me against the picnic table that was only a few feet away from us. My head collided with the corner of the table my arms and legs hitting different edges of the table.

"Why would I do that? He knows to much! So do you! It's a matter of who I kill first" He growled standing over Eli. I mustered up all the strength I could find even though I had no idea how I could even stand up at this point.

"Because! You don't want him dead. You want me! Because I'm the one that knows the truth! I have proof, he has nothing!" I shouted. My father whipped around to face me his body turning away from Eli's helpless one on the ground.

"You have a point…" He trailed off walking back toward me grabbing me by my hair. "Your bloods on my hands just like your mothers was." He hissed into my ear pulling something out of his pocket. I couldn't really see straight any further. My head was pounding I could feel blood running down the back of my neck. Yet all I could really think about how Eli was laying on the ground possibly dead from the impact of my father's fist.

"Just get it over with." I hissed as I felt him jerk me around slamming me back against the table for a moment and pulling something out of his pocket. He flashed it in front of my face. It was a pocket knife a small, already bloodied pocket knife.

"I made the first cut to your mom's throat with this." He growled into my ear and I could feel the metal push against my neck.

"DROP THE KNIFE OR WE'LL SHOOT!" Great, the people that should have responded as soon as Eli was hit were finally here. Police lined up, I could hear the sirens but everything was going in and out and I could have sworn I saw Eli being dragged away from my father's reach.

"Come any closer and I'll cut her throat." Patrick warned pressing the knife into my skin enough to draw blood and make a point. He then pulled it out holding it at an angel to make it seem more dramatic.

"We can talk about this! You don't need to kill her!" an officer tried to reason. It all sounded pretty pathetic. Dying right now didn't seem like such a bad idea, except for I had no idea where Eli was and I couldn't leave peacefully until I knew he was fine.

"I'm going to jail any way! Why not kill her!" He growled in return. I glared toward the ground looking for Eli but my brain was starting to become clouded with images of Eli holding me tightly in his arms. The images in my head were much better than the ones before me, Eli whispering sweet things to me while my mom was baking cookies in the other room, three little mini Eli's running around the kitchen, and wedding rings on our fingers.

I was jolted from my thoughts of pleasantness when my father and I hit the ground. His pocket knife embedding its self in my arm. I let out a sheer scream of pain, more afraid that I was dead because I couldn't really relate where the pain was coming from any more. I didn't know the knife had gone into my arm. I didn't know that lying behind me was my unconscious father.

"Move him before he wakes up!" I heard an officer shout and suddenly the pressure on my body had been moved and my father was no longer behind me. I rolled over onto my back looking around spotting Bullfrog holding a bat. He quickly dropped it and fell down next to me touching my face gently.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry Kylie." He was apologizing but I couldn't understand why. I couldn't even fully understand what was going on. "I meant to hit him at an angel so the knife would drop but I had no idea it would drop into your arm."

"Bullfrog, its ok I highly doubt she's angry right now, we need to get her to a hospital. They already took Eli."At the mention of his name I turned my head to look towards the sirens that I could hear. "It's ok Baby girl, Eli's at the hospital already, He was conscious when they took him just had a cut they thought he needed stitches for and he probably has a concussion. He'll be ok." CeCe reassured me kissing my forehead lightly before the paramedics rushed in.

"What's your name sweetheart?" The voice was a male, I assumed it was one of the paramedics trying to get me to interact with him but I just looked at him opening my mouth for a moment before closing it.

"Eli…I need…Eli" I choked out attempting to swallow but it felt like I was swallowing nails. I felt some one's hand take mine and I knew it wasn't Eli's but it was one of his parents.

"Sweetheart, Eli's already at the hospital. He's ok, I know he's ok, He needs you to be ok right now Ky." I whimpered slightly as I felt them slide something under my body. I turned to look towards CeCe and I could see the blurred look of concern and shock on her face.

"Oh my god, her head is bleeding!" Everything was faint; I had no idea who was screaming about what any more. I couldn't pick out voices but I could feel Cece's hand against mine. I could hear her voice but I couldn't pick out words that she was saying. I felt CeCe being slowly torn away from me.

"I..I love you Eli." I mumbled out slowly before letting my heavy eye lids fall shut. Hearing something about losing too much blood or possible brain injury, everything went dead silent after that.

_"Honey" It was my mom's sweet voice. It was like honey melting through me I turned my head and I could see her un-deformed face smiling back at me. She had fiery red hair and blue eyes that put the ocean water to shame. She was a slim woman with a heavy set chest and a beautiful figure, she could walk into the street and stop traffic, and she was that pretty. _

_ "Mom?" I stood up reaching out to touch her face. My fingers made contact with her gentle baby smooth skin. She let out a small laugh and took my hand off her face lacing it with her hand. There was no wedding ring on her finger any more instead her skin was pale and she was wearing a silver bracelet that I never remembered her having in her life._

_ "Yes, it's me Kylie." Her voice was so happy; I hadn't heard it in so long. Even before she died I'd never heard it happy. It had always been stressed or worried but never happy._

_ "Where…Where am I? Am I dead?" I became concerned. I couldn't die I needed to get to Eli I needed to make sure he wasn't dead! I can't be dead! This isn't the way this is supposed to go. _

_ "Well, I'm not quite sure yet honey. I'm not sure you're going to recover from what your father did to you…" those were NOT the words I wanted to hear. I couldn't even fathom it, I couldn't be dead I'd just gotten happy with Eli. I'd just started to help him recover._

_ "NO!" I screamed at her wanting to cry but no tears fell. "I can't be dead Mom! I need to be there for Eli! I can't let him get hurt anymore! He put his life on the line for me! I refuse to die!" she fell to her knees with me grabbing my face in her hands._

_ "Honey, breath, will you?" She laughed and I glared at her. How could she be so happy at a time like this? Her daughter was possibly dead and the boy that her daughter was in love with was going to have to live without her. _

_ "It's not funny! I need him! He needs me! I won't leave him!" I screamed at her. She rolled her eyes and helped me off the ground gently tucking my hair behind my ear._

_ "You don't HAVE to leave him. You have to make a choice Kylie. You have to decide if you're willing to fight all the struggle and pain that's going to come your way or if you want to stay here with me where you won't have any pain and you can watch on Eli." The way she put it almost made it sound like there was no reason for a choice but I knew better. If I stayed here with Eli, He'd kill himself to be with me. I couldn't do that to CeCe and bullfrog. But it was so tempting to just look at her and curl up against her soft body and stay._

_ "But, I don't know Mom. I love you; I want to stay with you but Eli…" I trailed off and I swear I saw a small tear form in her eye as she smiled at me. She touched my face again kissing my forehead._

_ "You need to be with him. You are meant to be with him. I will always be up here watching on you. I'll never leave your side. You need to go be with him." She repeated as she wrapped her small arms around my body holding me close. It felt so good to have her hold me again, once again it had been much to long since I'd felt her touch._

_ "I…how do I get out…how do I go back?" I stuttered slightly. I looked at her not even ready to say good bye to her. Not again, I'd watch them put her in the ground not too long ago and I'd been reunited and I was going to have to say good bye all over again._

_ "Open the door." She pointed towards a grey shaded door at the corner of the little area we were in. I looked at her slowly opening the door and looking at the scene below. "You have to walk through it if you want to live Kylie."_

_ I was suddenly second guessing living. I looked down and all I could see were people crying. CeCe and Bullfrog curled up in the corner of the room holding each other. On the bed laid me, Ivy's in my arms and blood being pumped back into my body a large bandage on my right arm where I'd been stabbed. There was an ace bandage on my foot and I just looked like I was in a lot of pain. I looked through the room to see if I could find Eli._

_ Eli walked into the room a rather large black, blue, and red mark expanding about three inches from his eye. A small cut next to his eye that had required stitches. He looked worn and like he had spent a lot of time crying. He walked over and took my head kissing every knuckle on my hand pressing the hand to his face._

_ "You need to go to him Kylie, You won't be happy here. You have things there you need. You can't let everything go…" She trailed off and I knew she was right but it was so hard to take the step from this loving little place I'd found to the place that pain and threat was all such a reality. What the hell was I supposed to do? I turned back towards her and she shook her head._

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